Herman by Jim Unger for August 19, 2024

That’s quite the verbal cue…

Okay, is the bad news that you took his claws out?! That’s horrible to do to a cat!

cold, very cold

The bad news is…, here’s your bill.

I’m a pet lover, and I don’t make jokes about springing bad news on pet owners about their beloved companion animals. Just sayin’. Carry on.

Mrs Conclusion: Hello, Mrs Premise.

Mrs Premise: Hello, Mrs Conclusion.

Mrs Conclusion: Busy day?

Mrs Premise: Busy! I’ve just spent four hours burying the cat.

Mrs Conclusion: Four hours to bury a cat?

Mrs Premise: Yes! It wouldn’t keep still, wriggling about howling its head off.

Mrs Conclusion: Oh – it wasn’t dead then?

Mrs Premise: Well, no, no, but it’s not at all a well cat so as we were going away for a fortnight’s holiday, I thought I’d better bury it just

to be on the safe side.

Mrs Conclusion: Quite right. You don’t want to come hack from Sorento to a dead cat. It’d be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that’s

what I say.

All kinds of possible conclusions in that statement.

Also good news: he’s ready for the taxidermist

The bad news is we ate him and he tasted awful.

No, I think that is the bad news. There is no “good” news either.

And the bad news is that you still owe me..

“If you’ve declawed my cat, I’m gonna kill you.”

This is not why I come to my comics page.

The bad news is you’ll need to find another cat to claw your furniture.

Is it Shrodinger’s cat?!

So is the punchline that the cat is declawed or deceased?

The bad news is he ran away.