Rubes by Leigh Rubin for September 07, 2024

huh?

He figured out how to beat the lie detector machine.

If I remember correctly, lie detector machines are mostly useless in detecting lies.

He has crossed the wires, giving the opposite result, genius!

If you can convince yourself you’re not lying, it would work.

Betcha he didn’t.

Yeah. That’ll work until his pants burst into flames.

Hmm politician in his future?

Eddie, do you hope to die?

(don’t forget to say “an’ hope to die”)

He’s just sitting there, lying there.

No, really! Don’t you believe me? It all started with “My dog ate my homework.”

Essentially, a classic “lie detector” can just show whether the person it’s hooked up to is nervous. If there’s a variation in the detected “nervousness” that appears to correlate with questions being asked, then it was assumed that “nervous” meant “guilt”.

In some cases, that might actually be true, but there are many individuals who can lie without feeling “guilty” or “nervous”. So one thing such a “detector” can be “wrong” about is indicating that someone is “not lying”. And simply believing that it doesn’t work may be enough to stop the body from indicating “worry”, and thus prevent it from “working”. But it’s also possible that a person can become “nervous” due to the simple fact of being hooked up to such a machine.

Does a polygraph work on a parrot?