Drabble by Kevin Fagan for December 19, 2024

Low blow

If he steps on after new batteries it will SCREAM!

Which means the scale will be dead until at least the new year, Huzzah!

Never saw a device that said “low” by itself, without having a battery symbol or something. But if it DID say low, it meant his IQ. If Ralph ever committed murder, they couldn’t give him the death penalty because he is RETARRDED !!!

low is where his belly hangs

Just take the win

Still beats the old scale with a needle going WAY over to the right! “Stop, stop, STOP!!”

It usually says back this truck off me.

When you have a belly like that you don’t need a scale to tell you to slow down your intake.

“One at a time, please.”

Ha-low!

My uncle was aath teacher…his scale registered in Calculus…

but he was happy. :(

LOW!

Yeah, I’m not falling for that LOW again.

Garfield and his bathroom scale…

Nah, he’s cheering because he can see the numbers past his belly.

Sure burst his bubble.

BTW I’d keep it that way until the holidays are over.

Once saw a woman of size trying a scale at a Sharper Image store.

Imagine her surprise when she learned it was a talking scale!

I thought Ralph’s scale would say ‘Siri, call the cops, he’s killing me!’

Is this a repeat?

He needs to lock the door….no telling what horror will barge in.