Free Range by Bill Whitehead for January 24, 2025

She “drove” an alternate route to get there.

She shouldn’t be there but it doesn’t look like you’re getting in anytime soon

This may look like Heaven, but that should be a warning not to go in there!

Now she has a crowd control job.

Grouchiness is not a sin; she was not a lazy sluggard.

Maybe now is not the time to bring that up, just saying.

“….I’ll just turn around now, shall I?”

So this is how end of highway to hell look like eh.

When you have filled out Unnecessary Form 10-563 go to the back of the line.

I’m sorry sir, but you’re in the wrong line.

How about a little empathy here? Every old sourpuss was once a young, hopeful, idealistic sourpuss.

Considering where you are, I suppose it’s right to be honest, but a bit of tact might be indicated too.

If it’s DMV, it may not be heaven.

“I’m Saint Unice now. Take a number and sit down.”

Is she a furry friend fanatic, too?

You can think it, just don’t say it.

Gary never did learn when to shut up.

Take a seat and wait an eternity for your name to be called. Your first test is patience and you will learn to like it.

Heavens to Betsy, it’s Betsy!!

Then what is she doing in that job?

“That’s ‘Department of Motor Vehicles.’ For getting it wrong…”

When did you finally realize you were dead?

oh man… an’ he was so close, too!

Uh-oh.

What a surprise! She must have been doing God’s work.

“Pete’s on vacation. Now show me two pieces of ID and fill out these forms.”

If I had to get past her to get to heaven, I’d say to Hell with it.

“….and YOU get rejected! And YOU get rejected!…and…”