Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for February 10, 2025

As a man who can improvise strange story telling, I can confirm that we are about to witness an amazing story being told by an ancient deity.

History would not be what it is had a praying mantis not become entangled in Rutherford B. Hayes’s beard at a key moment.

Stick around, Ethan. Not that you have a choice.

There once a man with hand stuck to the wall, he had to wait for it to fall, now he has to listen to a unicorn’s story, for having his hand stuck to a wall there’s no glory.

“I had a little ball, I stuck in a wall, that’s all” My father used to say that!

Elmer’s glue can’t hold a candle to you, Marigold!

Her stories are always amusing and entertaining. More so when they are not relevant.

I like how Phoebe’s mom didn;t even stick around to find out whether teh spell was permanent or not.

Once upon a time there was a man with his hand stuck to a wall. A unicorn told him that it would come loose eventually, but he got hungry and couldn’t wait. He took out his Swiss Army knife and cut out the part of the wall that his hand was stuck to. The damage to the wall meant that he got a bit less when he sold his house, but he was glad anyway, because it turned out that the unicorn was wrong about the spell wearing off. That man has a wall fragment stuck to his hand to this very day, although little bits of it do keep falling off. At least he can move around, and he’s learned a valuable lesson about unicorns. They don’t know what they’re talking about.

The mark of a great storyteller: always leave them wondering if it was worth listening to.

And now is the time for that old classic; The Song That Endeth Not!

What does the word “soon” mean when coming from an immortal being?

I’m like that. I never know what’s going to come out of my mouth ’til I start talking. Dialog seems to have a life of its own.

Delightfully ditzy!

First time I ever thought to connect Marigold with Abraham Simpson.