That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 12, 2025

/// Two girls teased handsome shepherd, Phillipe,

asking whether he’d slept with a sheep.

His reply was “Not I!”

(Though a shag he might try.)

Shepherds can’t watch the flock while asleep.

If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise

If you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise

For every bear that ever there was

Will gather there for certain because

Today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic

“Hey Betty, I’ll bet $10 he says, “Nice Jugs Ladies.”

Shepherd: The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

EW!

“…so anyway girls, l’ve got this boisterous sheep between my legs to keep it from escaping and a passerby looked over the wall and asked if l was sheering it.

I said, “Certainly not! Pi$$ off and find your own!”

“They told me this is a great place to meet chicks. Have you ladies seen any?”

Maybe you’ve visited my channel — Ewe Tube.

I’ve got nothing on under this raincoat.

Hoping to entice women with his keen wit, Willie stops to compliment them on their lovely jugs.

Nothing like a painting with little sexual symbolism!

Hey there, they call me ‘Big Balls’, and I’m a senior advisor in the State Department. Want to have a roll in the hay?

I tried to “do “/

A Kangaroo /

But I couldn’t make the leap../

And a passing shrew/

Said “no, thank you!”/

So I’m back to “doing “ sheep..

-Apologies to Noel coward

eew.