Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 26, 2025

of course not (never)

I did years ago, but not now.

So nice to be retired all these years.

Not even when we’re at work.

Vision rather murky and tummy quirky from too much weekend beer & beef jerky?

I don’t feel very worky EVERYDAY but then, who’s going to pay the bills?

I enjoy eating food and sleeping indoors.

Unfortunately, lately I haven’t even felt worky enough to work on my hobbies.

I never feel very worky now that I’m retired!!

When Dad Is The Muffin Man

I’m working the drive-thru at the Golden Arches and a guy is ordering a breakfast meal at the speaker.

Customer: “Can I get the eggy cheesy mc-squeezy?”

Me: “An Egg McMuffin?”

Customer: “…yes.”

I complete taking the order and the guy drives up to pay.

Customer: “That’s what my three-year-old daughter calls them. I… had a brain fart.”

Would You Be Interested In Renting Our War Rig?

A customer is asking me a ton of questions about our car rental insurance.

Customer: “How comprehensive is the damage insurance?”

Me: “It’s enough to cover you for most scrapes and if other cars collide with you.”

Customer: “What about other types of damage?”

Me: “Well, it depends on if the damage is the driver’s fault and—”

Customer: “—what if someone is, like, shooting at the car?”

Me: “Why would someone be shooting at the car?”

Customer: “Would insurance cover bullet holes?”

Me: “I’ve honestly never been asked that question, so I would need to check.”

Customer: “What about fire damage?”

Me: “Sir, what are you planning on doing with this car?!”

Customer: “Oh, just asking hypothetically.”

Me: Unconvinced. “I see.”

Customer: “Also hypothetically, could we rent the car without needing to show IDs if we paid you more, like a lot more?”

Me: “I don’t think we’re offering the services you’re looking for, sir.”

When Common Sense Isn’t “Working”

I’m standing behind the counter at the tobacco counter in my supermarket. I’m moving around some of the cigarette stock, on a small step ladder, wearing the shop uniform.

A customer walks over to me and rudely claps to get my attention.

Customer: “You work here?”

Me: “Nope, robbing the place, you need anything?”

My response seemed to stall them, reboot their manners, and we restarted the transaction as normal adults.

As for me……..more wacky than worky.

Down with worky!

Wonky, maybe?No Worky here…retired.

……not a feeling……

No, but I have often felt “need to pay the renty”… ☺

Nope. Rent and bills are paid, month’s groceries are laid in, I’m okay.

Me neither. Thank you retirement.