Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 21, 2012

Ah, the lowly pun has saved the day!

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

I remember that “dunk rye for me, Arch and Tina”/“don’t cry for me, Argentina” strip. ¡Bien hecho, señor Pastis!

ruthless.

It’s like the reverse of Monty Python’s Killing Joke. Sort of. In a way.

I feel like I’ve seen a cat in that pose before: http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&safe=active&biw=1152&bih=536&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=iawCCt1dmYLOeM:&imgrefurl=http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2008/03/30/hallelujah-cat/halcatjpg/&docid=cjLrrARUecblDM&imgurl=http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf/28680/halcat.jpg&w=530&h=334&ei=KmhpT7i0F-KWiALZpoieBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=102&vpy=185&dur=3453&hovh=178&hovw=283&tx=169&ty=112&sig=103442443969599637027&page=2&tbnh=132&tbnw=210&start=10&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:10

Arch and Tina have a lot to answer for…

And if they ever bother you again, Steph, just make ‘em a Hoffa they can’t re-fuse.

Wait. I thought the crusty old early 20th century cartoons would love a horrible pun.

…and all you anti-pun lobbyists thought no good would come from any situation where puns were used. hah! both pastis and i are vindicated!

Wow…. I’m suddenly feeling… I dunno…. powerful…

Can they still get him for transporting stolen gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises?

“This termite walks into a bar… and says ‘Hey! Where’s the bartender?’” (Just flexing….)

Ok…..“Sticks float… They wood!”Bwah ha ha!!

I’m in a punudrum!

Forgot to say @bmonk from yesterday’s yesterday… glad you’re safe then! I was in the thick of it, what with living in the same town as Pastis.Wish I’d known last week that puns would save me.

There you go, Dec 6, 2009: http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2009/12/06

This guy walks into a bar. The second one ducks.

Sad effort for a pun.Very sad.Anyway, don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina.

What an inhumane secret weapon Cartoon-Pastis has unleashed! His victory is hollow, for now we are all doomed! Let the good puns roll!

Punny humans

How did Stephan draw these strips when he was all tied up like that? I’m beginning to think he’s just a front man for the real artist.

clever

I wish there were more pun strips……..those are the best. Larry runs a close second

That Stephen is a GENIUS!!!!!!! I would’ve given up, too.

There was no need to exercise the nuclear option, Stephan.All you had to do was step on a scale to get a weigh.

They should have put him in the punitentiary.

What did the slightly inebriated policeman order pedestrians to do at the scene of an accident?

“Stephan pastis”

Go with your strengths or their weakness..Once there was a vet visiting a rancher, and he noticed that the cattle were rather lethargic out in the pasture, some just barely moving..The vet asked the rancher, “So, does your meat loaf?”

People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones . . .

How do you draw a comic when you are tied up? :@)

Better Nate Than Lever!

“the guy” was pig.

“the lesser of two weevils”“transcend dental medication”“chess nuts boasting in an open foyer”“you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”and on and on…Yes I am against pun control.You can take my pun when you can pry it from my cold, dead lips. I was a Punnery Sergeant in the Navi.Sorry to puntificate, I’m sure I’ll be punished.

Beetle just needs to sleep it off.

I had to read Stephan’s pun a few times, but I finally got it.`He must die.

Gatocat – excellent SciFi ref – been a long time since I read that story.Wince a pun a time, there was a cartoonist named Stephan Pastis…

I should have known those terrible puns were weapons grade!

They couldn’t take the PUNishment.

Pound-for-pound, the pun is your best entertainment value. (Thanks & credit to El Riesman).

Pak-rat.missed won..abcess make fuart go honda..carry on.

And the pun is a shift of wit . . . . ☻

Wish we could see the strip and find out how the joke goes!…

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion!

I think there is much crying in argentina

That’s as bad as blaming Sam and Ella for tainted cookie dough.

Then there was the sadistic beachcomber who left no tern unstoned.

Hmmm. I knew the Geneva Conventions (actually the Hague Conventions) had some loopholes. They outlawed the use of poison gasses and biological warfare. They completely missed the abuse of puns.

My favorite one was the “baloo wade shoes”

I didn’t make these up – I’m just pastising them on.

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work?A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers?Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?A Nervous Wreck.

14. What’s The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky Dive?Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down?Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?Somebody’s Gonna Lose A Trailer

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL very funny great set up…

Did you hear what happened on Main Street???

A man turned into a store!

Excellent one, Stephan!

LOL xxx

December 6, 2009 — a date which will live in infamy.

I feel sorry for Mooch. What’d he do to deserve this? Oh, wait. Never mind.

Rat went all arabic. No one can do bad puns like Pastis Sunday Funnies.Elly the Elephant a heavy weight in that department.

“Wanna go hunting?”“Sure, I’m game!”So he shot me.

I’m a big fan of the puns. :)

Stephan must be a Tell’iban…

Loved it then; love it now!

Steph is a punning adversary.

My step aerobics class leaves no stern untoned.

x3

I remember that!!

this was a pun in a previous strip

That is actually quite funny ..

i’m pretty sure that was a pbs strip.