Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley for June 22, 2012

When the Jehova’s Witnesses show up will Satchel be answering the door? I want to hear that.

actually, this entire mess can be cleared up with a friendly game of “plants versus zombies”.

Satchel, you’re right…they need shovels because it’s getting higher and drier every minute.

The jahoves would knock on my door at 7am every week because I lived at the end of the block.I asked nicely 2 or 3 times to skip me to no avail. Next visit I took off every stich of clothes and opened the door. They ran away screaming and never bothered me again!

AMEN!

Slow down for kitties…..

Have you no sense of decency?? Cats are extremely intelligent, probably more so than you. And so I say to you, you killer of innocent, noble animals: MALEDICTA PLUAT IN CAPUT TUUM! VOBIS SUNT AN FATUUS! Oh, you don’t understand that? Well then, clearly you failed eighth grade. Just as I suspected.

I completely agree. I once saw a one-panel cartoon of a cat saying to a dog: “I was a dog in a past life, but I came back as a god.”

Cats really drive people of a certain type insane, because they are unimpressed by anything that isn’t themselves. I love both dogs and cats. And duckbilled platypi, for that matter. Calling a human being “an animal” is actually a compliment. Animals don’t kill for fun.

@rollsroyce I dont know if this was a lame attempt at sarcasm or if you are that much of an ass. I tend to suspect the latter

@Tacopielvr both post are excellent. Thanks for sticking up for cats. They need guys like you in a world full of loser punks who think it’s masculine to abuse felines. And I had a Dobe many, many years ago. A loving, beautiful dog that indeed would protect his family at all costs. I really cannot have a dog at this time but if I could it would only be a Dobe.

Best way of getting rid of JW’s who come a knock-knock-knocking at my door.I worked at night, the wife and kids spent the day in school. The two Boxers we had did not understand Englich very well, but did understand German. (What the heck? Their names were Sanka von der Urlau and Alloro von der Hunerbach.) I left polite notes all over my front door, “Do not knock on this door, Dogs go nuts, and I am a day sleeper.” Sho ‘nuff, one day the local black JW’s sent two ladies along with a young (about 3), well dressed boy. I oened the door a peek, saw who it was, said “just a minute,” stepped to the other side of the door and yanked it open yelling, "Al! Sanka! Fessen! (which means “Food” or “Eats” ) I’ve seen better sprinters at track meets, but none as entertaining. When I whistled for the dogs, the little boy asked if he could play with them. He needent have asked because those two were licking away at him like no tomorrow. As mean and nasty looking as they were, Al and Sanka were pretty gentle and friendly. Mom and “Auntie” came back to the street in front of the houswe and told the child, “Leroy! You get here right now!” As Leroy was leaving he asked if he could come back and play with the “doggies.” I told him any time his Mommy or Auntie wanted to bring him, he was more than welcome.

You need the book 101 Uses For a Dead Cat.

My husbands exwife is a Jehovahs Witness. What a clown show/cult. Anyway, they rarely come to the door and if they do, I just hiss like a cat. It is rumored throughout their cult I’m the daughter of the antiChrist which helps keep them away. And the fact I’m atheist seems to shore up this fact with them.

Darby, I hope you didn’t quit your day job!

I knew a guy who was mean to cats. To his sister’s, mother’s. Just after his first marriage I saw him walking her Siamese on a leash in the park. He had to re-marry but in spite of his blood-lust he became a steady working man, and something of a bible-thumper.

I believe the magic word with Jehovah’s Witnesses is “Disfellowship,” as in, “Oh have they finally revoked my disfellowship?”

Poccopuddy, I saw a cartoon once that was a little more delicate and discreet, yet very funny. Woman in the bathroom, with a cat in the sink. She’s shaving it, thinking, “Guys are so strange….” It’s funny because the reader is complicit in the joke…..Can’t blame the cartoonist for the way your mind goes…..

At the risk of being a little politically incorrect, it brings to mind W. C. Fields line in one of his movies. He comes out to get wood for the fire and there is a black kid sitting on the stack of wood. He goes back inside and tells his wife, :" There’s a Ubangi in the fuel supply!" Again, you’re the one thinking the alternative thoughts. Comic genius……….The greats are great because they are/were great

May I direct you to today’s 9 Chickweed Lane?

Guy I once worked with said he greeted the Witnesses with “Well, I’m from the People’s Temple. Why don’t you come in for a nice glass of Kool-Aid?”