Dark Side of the Horse by Samson for February 12, 2022

So if you want to give your girlfriend a gift that will last forever, give her something from the Quaker.

Now I wonder what it would have sounded like if this fact had been known a little earlier and Marilyn Monroe had sung, “Dried Oatmeals Are a Girl’s Best Friend.”

Two of those things can be explained by science, though.

man HONSE

They’re all Carbon-based materials.

If we’re talking about hard foodstuffs, I once found a recipe for hardtack online, and made some out of historical curiosity. Definitely needs to be softened with water, coffee, or something before you can eat it.

and a petrified cocoa krispie has to be right up there

Baked into a molasses cookie. Yes. Can pave a road with them.

I’ve seen this substance when the teenager cleaned out her room, as well as other horrors I will not name

Great for patching small holes in drywall.

There was a movie where they helped a scientist escape a prison after making a glider out of oatmeal. I think it was a Movie of the Week.

Don’t forget old French bread like what was in The Corsican Brothers.

Especially when the last person to take some forgets to put the pan to soak — despite many many reminders!

I don’t know about the strongest, but the hardest. Thinking about the certain Russian, who’s heart must be the hardest. If there is any such…

Boron is also very strong,

Old maids in popcorn.

Harper’s crosswords.