F Minus by Tony Carrillo for January 27, 2021

I just want to see a horror movie where the person locked in the car remembers how to unlock the door to get out.

That would be a fairly boring movie.

Yep, I agree. Because that’s how life is too. No problems. Just everything goes like it’s supposed to.

It was made, but no one watched it.

They have movies like that. The keyword you’re looking for is “Christian”.

Actually, the French and a few Italians made such movies in the 50s and 60s – which played here in the States in “art” houses. I remember they were boring and generated much “intellectual” discussion in late-night coffee houses – though I can’t remember a single title, to save me – but I DO remember it was very smart and chic to view and discuss them, at the time.

On the whole, I remember liking Doris Day and Fred Astaire movies better.

And why do artists need to put paint on the canvas?

Hey, I’d like a situation in real life like that, too.

but what fun would that be.

I don’t like the ones (usually comedies) where the conflict consists of everyone believing a false premise, for days, that in real life would have been explained in seconds.

They call them commercials…

They did. It was called “Mindwalk,” released in 1990, and BORING AS HELL!

I want to see a comedy without jokes, but that’s not going to happen. Same thing with what she wants, not going to happen.

A lot of people make movies like that. They’re called home videos.

“Happy Birthday To You”

You’re living that story; why would you want to see that?

brought to you by the weather channel, in a sunny day

While reading today’s strip, I find myself agreeing. I’ve always enjoyed the quieter movies, like “Mr. and Mrs. Bridge”, and “The Whales of August”. I tend to avoid most movies with needless destruction (why do people smash dishes and throw breakable items in each other?), fight scenes, and car chases … also animals in danger or distress. Even as a child, I could never watch Lassie, and cried over the cartoon Ferdinand the Bull .And yet, I enjoy horror movies. My trick is to go online to IMDB or Wikipedia to read a full synopsis first. I also usually fast-forward to the end of a movie or tv show to see how it turns out, and then go back to watch from the beginning — also read the end of books first.

Conflict is regarded as an essential component of every story, book or movie. I get that but at times find myself sharing the lady’s viewpoint but then I am a dyed-in-the-wool idealist. What REALLY bugs me about most movies is that, after the main characters successfully deal with all their setbacks and protagonists, the good guys all live happily ever after while the bad guys get their just deserts. HELLO….. life is NOT like that or at least mine certainly has not been. In real life, the bad guys triumph most of the time and what goes around seldom comes around. But movie makers seem to believe people will not pay to watch a movie with a sad ending so they go through extremes to arrive at a happy one. If movies are to be believable, they should more closely resemble real life where plenty of stories do not have happy endings.

Or videogames you can choose to beat in ten minutes because it doesn’t railroad you into the stupid thing that sets the convoluted plot.

Sure lady, the movie can double as a sleep aid.

They did. They are still resolving all of the lawsuits for the people who died from boredom.

It reminds me of the time I tried to read one of my mother’s “Holly Springs” books. Everybody was contented, nothing much happened, and it was boring as hell. The most suspenseful thing was that the priest had mail-ordered something, and would it arrive in time? Guess what? It did.

No.