F Minus by Tony Carrillo for September 23, 2024

Ooh I had one of those. It’s a wind-powered hamster carousel, with a water bottle that automatically refills by catching rain water.

put a potato in it

Gonculator

Mousetrap.

Isn’t that a portable weather station?

Does it go zip when it moves, bop when it stops, and whirr when it stands still?

It’s the new Whizzbang Account Drainer.

E.T. call home.

I’m pretty sure I saw one of those on Antiques Roadshow.

Looks like a coffee bean grinder…

Looks like the time circuit from a TARDIS.

Steampunk Organ Grinder

I remember we were fascinated by that huge first microwave that we bought. So many “uses” in the directions book. It took up half the countertop.

Anyone knows that’s what converts your Dooliewhapper into a thingamagig.

It’s a special device, that everyone needs of course, that makes your wallet lighter to carry.

It grinds sea salt, while juicing limes, mixing them in perfect proportion and applying the mixture to the rim of your margarita glass.

Turns earwax molded candles.

It makes the everlasting Gobstopper and protects the Oompa Loompas.

You add orange peel and juice and it reconstructs the orange.

It’s a “money sink”.

“If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck’ll buy it from you, man.”—-George Carlin