Frazz by Jef Mallett for December 18, 2020

Nerd alert: the 3-pointer didn’t start in high school basketball until 1987. Just how old is Mr. Spatschle?

When he was in high school, they didn’t have 3-point baskets.

I got mine at Bunker Hill, the Alamo, and Iwo Jima.

I have surfer-knobs which I got at work. Truth. My job involved (among other things) hefting 30+ pound boxes of sand cast candles on and off a four-wheel cart. Every time I pulled a box up, the cart would roll into my shin, just a little. Dozens to a couple hundred times a day. But I usually just mention “surfer knobs” and let people draw their own conclusions.

PS: I can’t even stand up on a skateboard, much less a surfboard.

That old war wound story. [I was a USAF clerk in the time between Korea and the next ‘police action.’ Anybody wounded in those years must have dropped a typewriter on his foot or tripped over an open file drawer.] But, the first mission debrief’ occasionally got a good story-round going at the local bar, so it wasn’t all bad. Lots of laughs.

I was never into sports so I can’t claim old sports injuries

I have worked since I was 13 and for most of that time I acted like I thought I was invulnerable

Turns out I’m not, and my body aches remind me when I push too hard now

Minerals.

Last year I threw my back out lifting a pillow while making the bed… stuff happens!

Love this one. Now I have excuses for my limping…

Carrying the entire defense over the goal line caused my hip/back injury…/s

Caulfield is an 8 year old supergenius sociopath who gets away with everything, and we’re supposed to be okay with that. Mr. Spaetzle says he hit a three pointer in high school (and clearly the gag is that it didn’t really happen) and people choose to debate the potential age discrepancy???

Best (worst?) sports injury story ever: NFL Hall-of-Famer Turk Edwards’ career was ended after he caught a cleat in the turf and tore up his knee…during a pregame coin toss.

You may need more Potassium in your diet.