Frazz by Jef Mallett for September 22, 2023

My middle name is Miles, and I have thought about changing it if I ever moved to Canada.

The distance “mile” is approximately the distance a Roman troop walked in 1000 paces. Which tells us that the on average (median?) Roman soldiers were 5.28 feet tall (about 5’ 3.3"), since your natural pace is very close to your height.

Art Buchwald once wrote a column that translated the romance story for the French, and he called Miles Standish, “Kilometre Deboutish.”

Ask Miles of “Crabgrass”

jazz lovers HATE the metric system

Did he live up to his name?

He would have been Knots Standish if he had been a sailor.

“No, that system hadn’t been invented yet, smart guy.”

Anybody else remember Art Buchwald’s annual Thanksgiving essay? Jef sure seems to.

Joel: How much Keeffe is in this movie anyway?

Tom Servo: Miles O’ Keeffe.

- “Cave Dwellers,” Mystery Science Theater 3000

Knit picking is a fuzzy art.

Myles Standish would’ve been well suited for a job as a bank teller, checkout clerk, or barista.

For an office worker, bus driver, or computer programmer, Myles Sittish is your man.

But if you’re looking for wide receiver or a FedEx or UPS delivery guy, you want Myles Runnish.

This comic is hilarious!

And if he stood up straight and tall, instead of sorta kinda standing, would he have been called Mi(y)les Stand?

Incidentally, if anyone cares to know, Miles/Myles comes from Latin via Norman French and means ‘soldier’.

Actually a kilometer is 62.1% of a mile, not 66%, so he would not have been 1/3 or 33% shorter. 38%(roughly) is much closer to 3/8 or .375 so the fraction should be 3/8.

It’s Myles Standish!

Or Frank Shorter.

Obviously they are both too young to be familiar with the late great Art Buchwald whose explanation of the story behind Kilometres DEBOUTISH was a Thanksgiving Day staple in the Detroit paper. httpS://theboldsoul.lisataylorhuff.cOm/the_bold_soul/2013/11/explaining-tHanksgiving-to-the-french-yeah-good-luck-with-that.htMl

He came from a time before kilometres

The name miles derives from either the Slavic Milu (Gracious) or the Latin Miles (Soldier).

In this context, ‘Miles’ means ‘soldier’.

Myles Standish (the original spelling) died before the invention of the metric system, anyway.