Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 07, 2019

I tried to buy some Pepto-Bismal with an expired coupon once. Not really, that’s a lie. But I have had my share of diarrhea.

OK, so EVEN serial killers have bouts of… etc. What about ODD serial killers? What do they have?

Plus, we forget to keep our blades sharp, and to bulk order our plastic wrap.

There was that one fellow caught when he tried to buy both _Trix™ and Imodium™with expired coupons. He needed the colors to disguise the poisons he used. The poisons also worked as a laxative in small amounts. Testing the poisons led to his frequent bouts of diarrhea. And that’s how the serial Cereal Killer was caught.

Every criminal has their own laws. Generally, these laws are absolute.

Even serial killers have wants and needs, hopeless humans they are.

… cereal killers with diarrhea sounds like a skit from an old Woody Allen movie…

… or Breaking Bad…

… in his defense, none of the people he killed would give him the key to the gas station restroom…

…ok- how come- even in the Bible- it’s perfectly ok to kill for your country, but not for yourself?…

… expired coupons to buy tampons in the Clamptons make champions of us all…

… Long Legs may not have been a cereal killer but she killed in that b/w polka dot mini dress…

… Vlad made you sit on sharpened wooden steaks> Rick Snyder didn’t tell you the drinking water wasn’t safe to drink. Obama encouraged you to drink it anyways…

… " It’s too late to fall in love with Sharon Tate but it’s too soon to write the Epitaph on my tomb"…

… and all the people said, following the rules set forth in the Good Book is no longer a guaranteed way to get into heaven…

… naa na naa na na naaa na…

… naa na na na naa na…

… do your clones need to be circumcised?…

… can they use expired coup pons?…

Better than nothing.

Often at the same time.

What about surreal killers? Chainsaw guys, zombies, Stephen King villains. They’ve gotta eat too!

When you have IBS-C you constantly cycle thru constipation to diarrhea.

Proves they’re inhuman.

Sneak on by too the throne and don’t forget to wipe

TIM: Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit!

ARTHUR: Ohh.

TIM: That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

TIM: Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!

GALAHAD: Get stuffed!

TIM: He’ll do you up a treat, mate.

GALAHAD: Oh, yeah?

ROBIN: You mangy Scots git!

TIM: I’m warning you!

ROBIN: What’s he do, nibble your bum?

TIM: He’s got huge, sharp— eh— he can leap about— look at the bones!

This is Frog Applause™. Non Sequitur is down the hall and to the left.

I mentioned to a friend of mine the other day that I follow a comic called Frog Applause. He asked me what it was about. I didn’t know how to answer him. I also realized that there are many things that only die-hard fans of FA would understand. That there are many inside jokes here that might intimidate new fans. If anyone is reading this comic for the first time, don’t be afraid of FA readers. We are lame but harmless.

Toilet paper, like Frog Applause, is one of the unsung heros of life.

Did you ever wake up like at 3 am and all of your troubles and sorrows began to fill your mind so you could not sleep?

That is what having Pure-Ocd is like most of the time.

I don’t know about the sneaking by with expired coupons part. I don’t do that; it’s not worth the effort and risk.

On t’other hand, about diarrhea I do know; I came down with a long-lasting case after ingesting unfamiliar foodstuffs in another not Froglandia country….

What a coincidence. I have diarrhea right NOW!!!