Last Kiss by John Lustig for December 23, 2023

Aww, come over here sweetie and I’ll give you a goose.

Do like the geese, and start laying.

If you want a more quid pro quo transaction, try escorting in certain counties of Nevada.

Well then, you haven’t found your true love, have you.

Maybe she’ll have better luck with the maids a milking.

Excuse me. Are you going to use that pear tree?

How come we seldom hear a song about the twelve NIGHTS of Christmas? (Other than the one that’s Silent)

Cheer up, honey. You’re gorgeous. Keep a beautiful heart, and the right guy will find you. Try being a little more selective, and stop dating all the musicians!

Here’s the secret – Don’t have sex with them until AFTER you’ve got a ring. And the matching diamond necklace and earrings. A tiara would be nice as well but optional. Let us not forget the immortal words of St. Marilyn of Monroe who truly said, “And I think affairs that you must keep liaisonic are better bets/ If little pets get big baguettes.” And she wasn’t talking about loaves of bread.

She knows what she wants… kinda

Should have tried the milk maids and dancing ladies

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all here at Last Kiss. I also hope 2024 is a big year for everybody.

We can only wonder where she would have gotten pierced to hang a golden ring.

♪♪♫ I’ll ha-have a blue Christmas without jewels ♪♪♫

♪♫ “But may-be a bun in the o-ven…” ♪♫

On the 6th month of pregnancy, Murry Povich gave to me the true father’s identity.

And now she’s gotta take antibiotics ’cause she ended up with a partridge in her pear bush, er, tree…

Be careful of what you wish for.

I’d be happy to share some comfort and joy with you.

“But I did get chlamydia, herpes, and syphilis.”

The 12 Thank You Notes of Christmas…Agnes to John