Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 05, 2018

Ich bin ein Zugbrücke.

The instructions were sketchy.

The contractor’s schedule will keep him in suspense.

Is that Night-Gaunt in the chair?

What a coincidence : it’s time to feed the moat monsters.

Yeah, I know, King. But first I kinda hafta get into the karmic zone, man.

This is what happens when you let marketing people write the project specs.

To the dungeon of pain with you.

In every project, the first thing that goes up is the signage. :)

You kept His Majesty in suspension for that?

Give it up, Your Majesty: your point is moat.

You’d prefer an illiteralate?

But we’re such nice people!

If he draws 3 equally spaced lines on it, it will be drawn and quartered.

Good thing you didn’t want a foot bridge.

It looks more like a river than a moat. Good thing it’s not the river Kwai.

I suspect it might have been a bridge too far…

A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

BA DUM BUM Tssss! :D

This is what comes from asking a marketing major to make you a bridge.

First comes the concept sketches. Next comes the focus group meetings. Only after getting buy-in from everyone is it time to contact engineers to convert the concept into construction designs.

Of course, even with engineers if you want a functional bridge, you better start with some designs. Otherwise you are likely to end up with a non-functional pile of stones.

That’s not what a literal interpretation of “drawbridge” would be. Had he said drawn bridge, maybe, but drawbridge is exactly the right word, even for a literalist.

Ya know, a smart king would have had his castle built, his moat dug, and his drawbridge built BEFORE he filled the moat with water

Obviously one of Ruthie’s teachers on Iiteralism

Like the joke where a programer’s wife sends him to the store.

Wife: Get paper towels. And if they have fresh eggs, get a dozen.

He comes home with a dozen paper towels.

Wait a minute, that’s not a drawbridge, it’s a suspension bridge.

There have been times I’ve been asked by some who want to “see my pen.” I politely remove it from my pocket, show it to them, then put it back in my pocket. If you want to borrow/use said pen, then say that.

Too funny – great job Mr. Miller. Geez, I used to have Earthlink. It was a dial-up way back when. Didn’t know it was still around.

Like many Engineers, he has Golden Gate Ambition and a “Log Over the Creek” budget.

Today’s factoid: Moats were not intended to be a defense against a direct assault. They were to prevent an enemy from tunneling under the castle walls. If the moat was deep enough, a tunnel of a feasible depth would collapse when it got under the moat. Going deep enough to avoid that was probably beyond the technology of the time.

Maybe contexutalist is needed.

I dunno. Those waters don’t look too troubled!

They make terrible blackjack dealers. Don’t ever tell them, “Hit me.”

Grandmother and Grandfather married. And they went on their honeymoon. The next morning, they rose and began dressing. Grandmother asked politely, “Please throw me over the bed my shoes.” Grandfather walked around the bed and threw her over the bed to her shoes. True story.