Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 06, 2022

That had to hurt.

It’s not a Collins Street Deluxe Fruitcake!

As Founder and CEO of the National Association for the Defense of Fruitcakes, I PROTEST!!! (Lifetime memberships available, only $25 USD or one fruitcake.)

(I wonder if I said that when the cartoon first appeared.)

My ex-step mom thought fruit cakes were the best thing ever.

No , No , No…. Giving Fruitcake a bad name …. shame !

Oh, come on! I have never encountered a fruitcake that was hard. Mind you, I don’t make a habit of commercial cakes, and my mother and grandmother were masters at dark fruitcake.

Nuts… Fruitcakes… they’re both crazy.

Good fruitcake, properly soaked, is a delight.

REPEAT! repeating….

If you make them with dried fruit instead of that awful candied citron (shudder!), they are very good.

I had a friend try to crack a nut with a nutcracker and the nutcracker broke. I guess they used better wood back before they became purely ornamental.

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t

Eh but why? Fruitcakes is always soft n nice?

Some fruitcakes are soft but this one must be 18 years old…

This just Nut- cracks me up!

That’s what you get for being a Hobby Lobby nut cracker instead of a good German hand made, hard wood nutcracker.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8SfdNBUWVk

The original nutcracker was a mens ballet outfit.

Awww, come on Mark, don’t go there. What you need is a really good fruitcake to turn you away from the dark side. Been buying this one for years, small but well worth every cent. It’s so rich and moist, a little piece satisfies. Good fruitcake rules!!

https://www.monasterygreetings.com/prod_detail_list/Food_Fruitcakes?msclkid=f5921ae867bd15c655d3796717731266

Took me a while to realize these were characters from “The Nutcracker Ballet.”

It was a real jaw-breaker!!

How much crack could a nutcracker cut if a nutcracker could cut crack?

Suite!

Since my birthday is in January the first birthday cake I can remember was a beautiful fruit cake with white icing and decorated with silver balls. After that I asked for a fruitcake for every birthday. I got my wish until I moved away from home. And yes, I still like fruitcake.