Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 21, 2014
Transcript:
Bombast Cable (BC): Bombast cable, can I help you? Rat: I'd like to cancel cable. BC: And why is that? Rat: Because I don't want it anymore. BC: Let's talk about that. Rat: But I just want to cancel. BC: Are you unsatisfied? Rat: Yes, cancel me. BC: Why are you unsatisfied? Rat: Because. Now cancel me. BC: Maybe I can help. Rat: You can help by canceling me. BC: But you didn't say why. Rat: I don't have to. Now cancel. BC: But I want to see if I can fix your problem. Rat: You're my problem. Now cancel me. BC: Lemme see what I can do. Rat: You can cancel cancel cancel cancel cancel. BC: I see. And why is that? Rat: Because if you don't, there is a trained ninja assassin just outside your cubicle who doesn't have a lot of respect for your customer retention program. Rat: Cable's canceled.
Alexander the Good Enough about 10 years ago
Hee! Hee! I canceled my cable way back in 1996. But the cable company never turned off the cable, instead they just quit sending me bills! By the time they switched to digital 10 years later, which ended my free ride, Iâd switched completely to internet and couldnât have care less.
Sherlock Watson about 10 years ago
Thatâs the way to do it. Some people have to be taught the hard way that No means No.
Jackie.Trades about 10 years ago
Second to last panel, I thought it was a lady in a burka.
blunebottle about 10 years ago
Where can I hire that guy?
Sisyphos about 10 years ago
Well done, Rat! I hope your trained Ninja assassin was well compensated for this holiday season work assignment.Take that, Bombast!
Duke of Omnium about 10 years ago
If only it was that easy âŠ
KZ71 about 10 years ago
I just cut the damn wire.
gyroman12345 about 10 years ago
@KZ71 First, you have to mess with them a little.
Defective about 10 years ago
This is based off of, I believe, a true story of the horror one guy went through with Comcast. He recorded it, though. And he went through a lot more than Rat did. He published it on the web, it got a lot of publicity, Comcast âapologizedâ for the way the retention person acted. But then it came out the retention person was actually TRAINED to do exactly what he did.
Itâs still floating around out there if you really wanna hear it, Iâm sure.
AlnicoV about 10 years ago
Where can you hire a ninja assassin? And does anyone else notice the extreme irony of someone going into a long winded rant about Communism in response to a comic strip about the aggravations in dealing with an unresponsive abusive corporation?
mabrndt about 10 years ago
Though itâs late, the holiday is still going on; so, Happy Hanukkah!
Sweetaddietude Premium Member about 10 years ago
Well, that was effective.
puddlesplatt about 10 years ago
Burka, why may I ask, and who cares, although I do wonder if there is something under it, I donât want to see!
Bandera_Ken about 10 years ago
Reminds me of what I went through with AOL years ago. I wasnât dissatisfied at all. I just wanted to cancel because the new computer I bought had four months of free service with another company. I fully intended to go back to AOL when the free service was over. When I finally got the AOL service canceled there was no way in heck I was going back. I never have. I donât even use any of their free stuff. No AOL for me ever.
mjb515 about 10 years ago
Did they fire Guard Duck?! This seems like a task for him.
luvdafuneez about 10 years ago
Ooooo, Iâd like to have a trained Ninja assassin (or two or threeâŠ)
Rwill about 10 years ago
I dropped Bombast TV cable a couple of years ago. (went to a antenna and received 4 more channels than I was paying $20 a month for, and in HD instead of SD. I only origianly had it because it was $8 and got me $15 off for TV/internet. Then they kept cutting channels and raising the price.) I had bought my own modem and after I dropped the TV it took me almost a year and calls every other month to get them to stop adding the modem rental charge to my bill
Now the other night I was having problems with my internet so I called Bombast tech support and the first thing they did was to try to get me to up my internet and get TV back for âjust a couple of dollars moreâ, which was $30 more and that was just for 6 months and then it would go up even more. So by the time I got to an actual tech guy I was not very happy and not very nice. Especially when he kept saying it was my modem and wanted to set me up with a rental modem.
VEJETE about 10 years ago
Must be âDish Networkâ⊠Worst of the worst. :-(
Albert Sims Premium Member about 10 years ago
I got rid of cable (in the form of Dish Network) a few years ago. Got tired of all the channels filling their schedules with stupid ârealityâ shows. I put up an outdoor antenna. Find more worth watching for free on the 19 channels I get than I did on Dish. Also subscribe to Netflix and Hulu Plus. Donât miss cable TV at ALL!
sherrimiller60 about 10 years ago
@Alexander, I have had two different companies give me free cable. Both times, I told them I ONLY wanted phone and Internet. Both times, I called to tell them they connected the cable, and I didnât want it, and wouldnât pay for it. Both times, they left it in place.
Brown Leghorn about 10 years ago
I tried twice to cancel paper delivery but they keep on. My next move will be to stop paying them
cupertino jay about 10 years ago
there was a guy in san jose who got into a billing dispute with bombast a few months back. in retaliation they got him fired from a lucrative gig with an affiliated company. fired fella comes across as something of b*stard, but still. iâm guessing bombast sought out the bad publicity to improve their image,, ie âdonât nobody mess with bombastic, evah.âhttp://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/10/comcast-got-me-fired-after-billing-dispute-says-california-man
clickable link via html try try again (fingers crossâd).http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/10/comcast-got-me-fired-after-billing-dispute-says-california-man
Ginny Premium Member about 10 years ago
I went through this process with my credit card company. Decided I didnât need two different cards, so wanted one zeroed out. Must have spent 10 minutes on the phone with Customer Service convincing them of the cancellation. Then â they wouldnât send me a bill showing the zero balance for two months; said it was âregular procedureâ Nuts!
Number Three about 10 years ago
Heâs behind you!
xxx
MrBlowhard2u about 10 years ago
This sounds like the conversation I had when I tried to cancel my internet with CenturyLink.
A_NY_Outlaw about 10 years ago
I about had this same conversation with Verizon earlier today.
bluegirl285 about 10 years ago
Huh! I wish I had that ninja when I had to take my brother off my cell phone account! I swear I went through 30 minutes of her telling me different ways of keeping him on my account rather than just going ahead and taking him off.
lmonteros about 10 years ago
I only started getting cable when I moved to a place where I canât get broadcast channels. I switched to satellite years and years ago. I like DirecTV, but I really hate having to pay so much just to get broadcast channels. If they sold the package separately, thatâs all I would have. I counted up the channels I regularly watch: VHF, 2 (out of 7 in LA); UHF, 4 (out of about 100 in LA, and 2 of them only because of the grandkids & PBS); cable, 7 (out of hundreds and hundreds). Thatâs it.
claire de la lune. about 10 years ago
Donât mess with the ninjas.
155088 about 10 years ago
Cancel Rat and bring back the CROCS.
Saddenedby Premium Member about 10 years ago
had the same conversation a couple years ago with bharter service. half way into the âconversationâ i simply told them to get their eyes off the book they were reading and cancel my service NOW!!!!! got back âdoneâ and then they asked if they could do anything else for me and i begin to laugh, said ânoâ and hung up. i should have sent the ninja
Lucid Premium Member about 10 years ago
Looks more like an Arab woman than a ninja assassin.
Bucinka about 10 years ago
I see Rat reads the news: http://www.mjsbigblog.com/comcast-leaked-customer-service-call-goes-viral-audio.htm
pam Miner about 10 years ago
There is âDishâ who quit carrying fox ânewsâ I thank them and hope others will Cancel the king of mis-information and distributers of lies. Good for them and the Real patriots who Follow Jesus actions and love our people.
Sheila Hardie about 10 years ago
They really are this bad, if not worse. Took me 3 hours of my time and MUCH frustration to have Dish Network cancelled years ago. Those retention programs are just awfulâŠ
comicsnerd74 almost 10 years ago
Can I post this on Comcastâs website so they get the idea already?If people want to cancel, CANCEL!
robertiris almost 3 years ago
Say that now and theyâll put you on a list
The one and only Eldest Arc (now at peace) over 2 years ago
Well weâll Well wel thatâs one way to deal with it