Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 03, 2019

Rat has become comfortably drunk.

Can’t figure out whether this or Non Sequitur better describes my life.

We’ll always have Rat!

Who, indeed?

Was there another reason to drink beer?

You need a reason to drink beer?

Rat, you downed my ROOT Beer!

Well done Rat, to end the problems, you have to eliminate their origin, you are on track to achieve it. Although that sadly will drag you to your ruin.

Yep, Rat’s got it all figured out.

So what did people do before beer?

Stop weirding me out Stetphan

Needs… more… beer!

Even Goat has given up on Rat. Inevitable.

I wake up by reading the comics with my coffee and heading off to work at a mental health ward/chem-dep unit. Rat’s realization could easily be the summary* of 50% of the people I care for. ( *substitute drug / vice of choice.)

Rat you need a shot of Bourbon to go with that Beer ! ……. Croc Power !

RAT is in serious denial….ker-plunk

In other words, we’ll just continue to make dumb choices and do stupid things.

…Rat’s last statement – the title of the next PBS book!!!!!!!!!

Reality sucks beer…

Here’s to beer that tastes like beer. An Amber glass of wholesome cheer. A noble brew without one peer

I realize I need lots more beer.Thanks,Rat.

I think the worst part of it all is that there are thousands of people who are actually doing this, without the intellectual honesty to have that mental discussion out loud or admit it.

I understand the draw to almost all vices, I really do. Humans aren’t much different from each other in that respect. But drugs and alcohol just confuse me. You really wanna drink some liquid until you can’t control your body or mind? You really wanna shoot up until you’re so wired you can’t put two thoughts together? I just don’t understand it… I really don’t. It kinda scares me to be honest, the thought of altering your mental state like that.

20 years old, never been drunk or high, and never will be. Here’s to listening to the wisdom of those who have gone before!

Beer solves every problem! Well, tequila too.

Beer is my religion.

Take personal responsibility?!? OMG, civilization (or at least American civilization) will end as we know it!

Beer. The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.

Let’s see now ……….. for hundreds of thousands of years, people are just another critter, geographically widespread but not numerous anywhere. Beer is invented. First result: people stop dying of dysentery and the population increases. Second result: that ugly broad who makes you barf is suddenly the most desirable woman you have ever met (works the other way around, too) and the population increases even more.

Conclusion: beer is the cause of overpopulation and the ultimate cause of climate change.

Budweiser therapy!

Three roads to happiness: Change yourself, change the world, get drunk. Only one of these is quick, easy, and ultimately self defeating.

Thank god he’s thinking clearly.

“So what did people do before beer?”

Had their trust in God. That is, before realists came along.

Say, for what were hop-yards meant,

Or why was Burton built on Trent?

Oh many a peer of England brews

Livelier liquor than the Muse,

And malt does more than Milton can

To justify God’s ways to man.

Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink

For fellows whom it hurts to think:

Look into the pewter pot

To see the world as the world’s not.

And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:

The mischief is that ’twill not last.

Oh I have been to Ludlow fair

And left my necktie God knows where,

And carried half way home, or near,

Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:

Then the world seemed none so bad,

And I myself a sterling lad;

And down in lovely muck I’ve lain,

Happy till I woke again.

Then I saw the morning sky:

Heigho, the tale was all a lie;

The world, it was the old world yet,

I was I, my things were wet,

And nothing now remained to do

But begin the game anew.—A.E. Housman, “Terence, this is stupid stuff”

Maybe you should apply your trusty baseball bat to Cartoon-Boy’s head once more, Rat. Blame it all on him!

I am on board.

I think Rat might occasionally break character like this because he’s just pretending to be mean for the sake of satire.