Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 21, 2020

My Father’s doctor told him to stop watching the news in order to control his anxiety.

I did that and problems are all solved.

Pig figured that out months ago. Just stay in bed.

Today’s background music: “Draggin’ the Line” by Tommy James.

Pig’s next life hack:

How to Live to 100

“Live to 99 and then be very careful!

“You’re welcome!”

He needs to be in front of a cave on top of a mountain!

My father always told me “Son, worry is the price one pays for what doesn’t happen!” He never got so far as to tell me the First Corollary: Therefore worry!

Simply existing isn’t much of an … existence. But as soon as you want something, you’re trapped into the circle of chasing what you ain’t got. The trick, I think, is to learn to enjoy what you DO have.

Now if he could only master no smudges on his face. ( I know, I know, he’s a pig.)

“Don’t worry. Be happy.”

This “no problem utopia” that many seek, it’s a delusion. There will always be problems. Always expect problems and be ready to face them and try to solve them. The real problem arises when you keep expecting a delusional ideal that’s practically unachievable.

Philosophy is always fascinating on paper. Sometimes applying it can be helpful, sometimes not. The problem is that there is no real answer beyond personal choice. Someone else’s morals, ethics and modus vivendi may suit them, but you may not fit their mold. Just watch your Karma. What goes around will surely come around. If you cast your bread upon the water, betcha dollars to doughnuts it’ll come back soggy with your future. So only toss bread in you want to see again!

peace of mind is watching someone else struggle. even better if it’s someone you dislike…

A life without problems is a life without creative solutions, which in turn, provide life’s meaning.

Sometimes life is Sisyphean!

Goat should probably stop reading Pig’s little notes like this. Like, back off, man. Rude.

The secret to happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Ah …. Master Pig ….. we’ve been waiting for you ! … Croc Power !

That’s like the key to eternal life: keep breathing.

BASK IN THE POWER OF PIG AND HIS MASTERY OF EXISTENCE

That precludes the existence of other people. . .

Now if only that were possible.

No wife, no kids, no problems.

From the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. At the end of a Tooter Turtle misadventure, Mr. Wizard would say, “Be what you is, not what you is not. The people who do this are the happiest lot.”

I’ve been having a great time watching the news and laughing, ever since I learned to despise humanity.

Has Pig been to the Big Ass on the Hill?

So Pig is a Buddhist?

Worrying about something you have no control over is counter-productive to achieving happiness and peace of mind. Conversely, actively working to resolve problems brings a level of satisfaction, and solving the problem can bring the pure joy of accomplishment.

See Job 5:7.

Alfred E. Neuman.

What’s with the spots on Pig’s forehead and cheek? A bindi? Leaky pen?

Life’s a bumpy and twisted road….take it as it comes…one day at a time…..

Good luck with That, Sweet Pig-

Truth or Happiness? Which are you pursuing?

Philippians 4:11-13

Reminds me of a Fable 3 joke: “To be a master marksman, just don’t miss. It’s that simple!”

‘Your art, then,’ said Vertue, ‘seems to teach men that the best way of being happy is to enjoy unbroken good fortune in every respect. They would not all find the advice helpful.’—C. S. Lewis: “The Pilgrim’s Regress”

The only people with no problems are the ones who are dead. Contentment is a great thing, but postitive-discontent is the source of progress. The trick is to have enough of both.

Now, if only Pig could master writing without getting ink all over himself! But I guess that’s asking too much….

That was unintentionally profound. Just change pig’s response to “There are no problems in life- just challenges.”

Not just learn to enjoy what we have but aim at what we can be or become, by degrees.

this is like saying to depressed people “just be happy”