Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 28, 2023

Sounds like the kind of guy Goat would have for a friend.

Also, he seems a little too young and male to be a grammar.

I wonder if he trains the grammar police.

Now you’re past simple

Pig seems tense.

It’s a good thing that Pig didn’t end his sentence in a preposition!

I’ll give my grammar response, Dangling Participle!

Present imperfect?

Since today is tomorrow’s yesterday, and no day is completely perfect, does that make now present imperfect future past tense?

Some guys are a little too terse.

When I was in college, there was a professor that taught a course called (I think) “Technical English”. She was an short, older woman that wore a cardigan and looked like your favorite grandmother. In the first class, her lecture was how the one word in the English language that everyone always used correctly was f*ck.

He thinks he’s so pluperfect.

He looks kinda like the Comics Censor

Reminds me of a very old one:

“A guy goes to Boston on a business trip. Since he has never been there before he wants to try the local cuisine and, after some research decides the quintessential dish (after baked beans) is a seafood dish made from a young cod fish.

As he gets into the taxi at the airport he asks the driver ‘where can I get scrod?’

The driver turns to look at him and replies ‘You know, I have been asked that question many times and in many ways. But never before in the Past Pluperfect Subjunctive.’ "

“After time travel was discovered, The term ‘Future Perfect’ was dropped since it was shown not to be!” Douglas Adams.

For a second, I thought Pig was going to engage in a real grownup conversation…LOL

By next year he will have been fired because he will not have been able to earn any grants for studying such a ridiculous thing. That will have made his future imperfect.

Imperfect.

Sounds great. Period, though I question it. Hope he hasn’t been in a comma.

I can’t think of any more exclamations.

You are perfect right now Pig X

Change the subject.

Perfectionism at its finest.

Complete Sentence. Good thing. Go do.

I prefer the plusquamperfect tense, or pluperfect if I (had been) in a hurry. . . .

A lost art!

This one went way over my head….guess I shoulda payed more attention in english class.

How does Goat survive in the little world of friends that surrounds him??

I’ll bet he’s tenured.

Professor is pretentious.

Really a good one.

Most of the past wasn’t. And I don’t have a lot of hopes for the near future.

present pluperfect

Pig is a little pugnacious today…

I’m more present tense.

I tend more toward the imperfect, myself.

I once met a grammar professor in an airport. She seemed extremely nervous about flying so I spoke with her in an effort to put her mind at ease. She appreciated my kindness and we seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. I asked “Where are you flying to?” and with a haughty sniff she said “I will not respond to any question that ends with a preposition.” Realizing my mistake, I said “Oh, of course, I’m sorry. Here, let me try again. Where are you flying to, you stuck up b!tch?”

Some pigs are just too ignorant, too….