Pickles by Brian Crane for October 06, 2019

makes you wonder where Earl and Opal are going

With my first wife, I actually changed the bedroom clock to be 15 minutes ahead of reality. That way we mostly arrived less than a half hour late. My second (and last!) wife is a lot better: She sets her own clock ahead… but only a couple of minutes. And we mostly arrive within 10 minutes of on time.

I, the wife, was always ready ahead of time. When hubby and I were dating, he had to travel from Los Angeles to Long Beach and was always 2 hours late.

A lot of men think they’re ready and then suddenly remember everything they haven’t done just as they’re walking out of the door.

Married to a man, I know that in order to leave the house, I have to say “Let’s go babe” about 10 minutes before we actually need to leave. Invariably there is some last second bathroom trip, or rechecking again all the locks, or the shirt has a stain unnoticed, or some other reason.

But know this: it is not just MEN with this issue, it is HUMANS.

Doesn’t matter. She still beats me to the car.

Rolling Stones … Time Is On My Side :-)

My thought is if you can be on time you can be ten minutes early.

I do the wrong clock-setting trick to fool my husband. The clock is 10 minutes ahead and still, somehow we end up late. Drives me nuts.

I think this is my wife and my wife thinks it’s me. Turns out we are both right.

Mom once said, “We need to go pretty soon.” I interpreted this as “Soon it will be time to go,” and kept playing. Boy was I in trouble! She meant “You’re in trouble because we’re not already gone.”

Yep…a universal female lie! ;o[

Oooh the patience……OY!

By the time Opal gets ready, the thing that they’ll be going to will probably be already over!

Earl looks nice today!

For social occasions you’re on time if you are no more than 1/2 hour late.

For job interviews you’re late if you’re not there 10 minutes early

For doctor/dentist appointments you’re early even if you’re 10 minutes late. ;-)

Her: I’m ready, I just have to…

I always wait until my partner is at the door with her coat and purse and car keys.

They’re going to be late to Church?

They only way to get everyone out of my house on time would be to set fire to it. A really BIG fire.

funny… Arlo is having the same problem today.

Kind of like “can you hold for a minute?”

When my wife and I have to go to a function, I usually get ready first. Having three bathrooms helps. I am ready well before my wife. By the time she is ready changing outfits ( wrong color) changing her purse ( does not go with the outfit) changing shoes ( color has to match the dress), I have a five o’clock shadow and have to shave again. If we are 5 minutes late my wife says “He just could not get ready on time.”. What???

“When I said that I’m ready when you are? I didn’t mean ‘now’.”

Hey, maybe her estrogen meds and Kotex conflict.

Check out today’s Arlo and Janis.

I try to arrive “elegantly late” to social events. Ten minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes — doesn’t make any difference, I’m always the first one there! (often even my hosts aren’t ready…)

mu husband always complains about having towait for me and then turns around and says he forgot somethin!!!!