Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for April 17, 2021

But it wouldn’t be the same without the fake theater butter.

And you have to have three arsewipes behind you talking on their cellphones.

And your shoes stick to the floor.

I’d rather watch at home. You can always pause it when you need a potty break.

You decide what to wear and whether to bring a jacket or not. You have to remain with your decisions until the viewing ends.

Oh yeah, just before the show starts have someone else set the thermostat to a random temperature of their choice.

…and I’ll talk throughout the film & check my phone every 5 minutes.

Don’t forget gum and spilled soda on the floor.

I haven’t been in a movie theater in 52 years, and haven’t missed it one bit. Nasty, noisy neighbors, germs, high prices, and very few movies worth going through all that to see. Any good ones, I can watch in my living room later.

With a 55" TV in a small living room, and a killer sound system, I do fine. I remember when they re-released “A New Hope”, I went to the theater to see it, and shouldn’t have wasted my money. Looked and sounded better at home.

I may not have much, living on SSDI, but I like to experience movies…

And I’ll wake Junior up and get him down here to kick the back of your seat.

Funny! And ten minutes later he dumped skittles on the tile floor.

Only $16? You got a deal….

The truth is, theaters make little to no money on first run films. They depend on concessions for their profits.

And if you arrive at the published start time you have to watch 30 minutes of commercials before the show starts.

I like having subtitles, and being able to back up when I miss something.

And throw all the licorice JuJu Beans on the floor.

We pour soda pop on the living room floor to give it that nice, sticky sensation.

Better a drive-in like setting w/teen memories of not seeing the movie at all.

and turn the volume up to 150