Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for February 06, 2022

Are introductions necessary? I doubt it. But if not…

A young Jewish man is sitting on a park bench in Gorky Park, obviously studying from a book. A Muscovite policeman passing by asks him what he’s studying. “I’m learning Hebrew, Sir,” the man replies.“Baah! That’s a useless endeavor, Comrade. You must realize you’ll never be allowed to emigrate to Israel; you’ll die here in Russia someday.”

“Then I’ll be able to converse with Abraham and Moses when I get to Heaven.”

“And what makes you so sure you’ll go to Heaven? What if you wind up in Hell?”

The young Jew shrugs his shoulders. “I already speak Russian.”

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor examined him and told him that aside from a low sperm count, he was perfectly healthy. The old man scoffed and said, "Nonsense, I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, Doc?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story:

“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter. One day, he decided to go for a walk in the woods. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver with a beautiful pelt sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he didn’t have his gun, and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature. Just for fun, he raised his walking stick, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and said ‘bang, bang’. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

“Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly!”

Until next time.

just imagine a four-author/two-pseudonym book, Jason Snake Lover

How many car accidents are there in Riyadh during that festival (due to that blinding light)?

Interstate 78 in Pennsylvania has a bridge that is the exact distance of a marathon from I-81. It’s just past the 26.2 mile marker.

And on the 96th day, she rested.

Husband: “It’s been 95 days and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that woman! She said she was just going out for a stroll…”

And Alyssa finally caught up with the person she wanted to talk to about his extended car warranty.

Take care, may OCD thread spool unwinder and rewinder Gladys “Beats Playing With My Lower Lip” Williamsord be with you, and gesundheit.

I’ve rode in APCs. I hope he changed the inside dramatically. It would take more than a pretty paint job to ever get me in one again.

Alyssa must have been running on a treadmill, if she was running on roads she would likely have been hit by a car long before the 95th day.

My grandmother is 93 years old and three years ago she began walking 2 miles every day!

Now, we have no idea where in the heck she is!

An elderly patient gets new hearing aids from the doctor. After a short time, he meets with the doctor again.Doctor: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.”Patient: “My hearing is very good, but I’m in a funny situation now. I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve had to change my will three times!”

So, when she stopped, Alyssa Clark was 2,489 miles from home?

I do a marathon a month. A mile a day. Walking. With Sundays off.

and Ms. Clark is now 2489 miles from home….ba dum tss

Penelope Ashe, author of “Naked Came the Stranger”, was a committee of 24 journalists poking fun at American literature of the day. The movie was better than the book.

To jasonsnakelover: No, no you didn’t.

Why?

How are you allowed to drive an Armored Personnel Carrier on city streets?!

That one about a book having several authors . . .kind of reminds me of " Naked Came the Stranger" by Penelope Ashe, circa 1969. Anybody remember that?

They should have a button here to dislike a comment…….anyway…….I wonder why Alyssa stopped at 95 days.

My bike/motorcycle has 2 taillights that have 48 LED bulbs in each one. And they’re BRIGHT. I’d hate to see that light with 272,000 LEDs.