Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for March 14, 2022

Monday Lemonade

I have no trouble believing these. Dang it.

what’s the other 88% of the Suez Canal’s purpose?

Fun fact here our next door neighbor of my childhood home was the manager of the Globetrotters at one time .

When life gives you lemons, find someone that life gave whisky. Invite friends and have a party!

Me always found lemonade to be electrifyingly refreshing.

But what range would a lemon-powered Tesla have?

Volts are irrelevant without the Amps. I want to know the real power.

Must have had a poor choice in electrodes for only 0.8v per lemon.

Next time try using some Zn and Cu for at least 1.1v per!

My cat has figured out how to turn on the ‘heat’ light in the bathroom, and then curls up in the bathroom sink, enjoying the warmth. That’s every bit as amazing as anything in today’s B.I.O.N.

We’ll try not to barge through these facts, savoring each one for future reference.

Take care, may famed dunker Earl “Plus It’s Great To Slurp The Soaked Crumbs At The Bottom” Winchord be with you, and gesundheit.

A long time ago the NBA had a rule against drafting or signing any player before his college class had graduated. Because of this, Wilt Chamberlain, who had left Kansas, played for the Globetrotters for a season before joining the Philadelphia Warriors. And in another BION factoid, his grandson now plays for the Warriors.

Curly Neal was the Best!

Limes demand equal time.

Why always lemons, never limes? When life gives you limes, make limeade

very cool of the Globetrotters

And what does the Panama Canal see?

An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds. He sits down and orders a beer from one hell of a beefy, muscled bartender. He takes a shakey sip from his dark, dark beer, puts it back down, and asks about the lemons.

“We have a bet at this bar,” says the muscles with a mouth. “I take one half of a lemon, squeeze it as hard as I am capable, then hand the lemon to you. If you can squeeze even a single drop of lemon juice from the lemon, it’s free drinks for life.”

The old man considers this while he finishes his beer. Placing his empty glass down, he pipes up, “I will take your challenge.”

The as-wide-as-tall barkeep smiles. “You’re having a laugh. My pinkie weighs as much as you, Skinandbones. We’ve had lumberjacks, linemen, bodybuilders almost as enormous as myself try. No one, NO ONE, has ever squozen a drop from the lemon.”

“That’s quite alright. I’ll take your challenge nonetheless.”

“Alright, but you buy the lemon, Dachshund.”

So the man puts down 59¢. The barman cuts the lemon in two and squeezes one half as hard as he can, muscles and veins pumping comically, juicing the tart yellow glob entirely, and handing the remains over to the old man, each as dry as the Sahara.

The old man carefully wraps his soft digits around the rind, and slowly closes them into a fist.

He does not squeeze a single drop, but two. Then three and four and five and six and seven and eight and nine and ten drops.

The bar has gone completely silent, a multitude of flabbergast.

“How?” stammers the great Goliath behind the counter. “What are you, who do you work for?”

“The IRS of course.”

Yes, lemons and high voltage. But what was the sustained current? I mean, a static zap from your shoes on carpet is just as high a voltage.

I smell burning lemons…

They may have gotten 2307 volts out of the chain of lemons, but it had to be very low amperage. Otherwise, it would have fried the lemons.

Did you hear? William Shatner has given up plans to develop a line of lingerie. “Shatner Panties” just doesn’t sound appealing.

I was lucky enough to have gone to a Globetrotters “game” during the days of Meadowlark Lemon and Curly Neal.

As opposed to unsuccessfully breaking 18 records