The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for August 15, 2023

That’s weird: usually the music on hold is always awful.

A person that actually LIKES being put on hold???

Only Brutus!

Are you nuts?!?

Must be pretty good elevator music.

Surprisingly one song that was just perfectly made for the answering machine that you rarely hear, is Blondie’s “Hanging on the telephone.”

I’m in the phone booth, it’s the one across the hall. If you don’t answer, I’ll just ring it off the wall. I know your there, why don’t you answer my call?

Chorus

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone!

(Repeat chorus for 100 times)

They were running out of songs to play.

Find it on you tube!

Brutus is working from home today.

My personal fave is the kind that is mundane and mindless, about 20 seconds long, that repeats. Occasionally interrupted by little commercials and reminders of how important my call is.

If you have Amazon Prime, Alexa will play an endless list of songs for you, in whatever era or genre you choose. She has reminded me of several great songs that I’d forgotten.

ha ha ha! that’s funny, when you prefer to wait listening to the music rather than getting something done instead. :D

At least Brutus got though to a human…

I’ve been in this situation before

Brutus’ musical tastes are kind of weird!

On hold? You get to hear Barry Manilow…over and over, ad nauseum.

Some places do have decent Muzak.

Decent Muzak is an oxymoron. To eschew obfuscation “oxymoron” means self contradiction.

That’s never happened to me. If it did though, I would just write down the title and go to Pandora later. However, Brutus is his own man and you got to like his style……

When I called my doctor to make an appointment they put me on hold. The hold music was “Don’t Fear The Reaper”…

Lately when on hold the music is sketchy, uneven and unrecognizable. Painful to my ears. What’s even worse is when I get the volume correct for talking, and then they put me back on hold and the music just blares right through my brain. My hearing is good, their music is overused or something.

“Oh, and remind me what company I called.”

Brutus remember transaction first, then hold. You’ll be doing them a favor by tying up a line.

Simple minds, simple pleasures. Something enviable about that

Customer service replies, “Sure thing, I’ve got plenty of needy customers just waiting”…

♫♪

Doo-wop, doo-be-doo-doo-wop, doo-wah, doo-lang

Blue days, black nights, doo-wah, doo-lang

I look into the sky (the love you need ain’t gonna see you through)

And I wonder why (the little things you planned ain’t coming true)

Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time

I’m living in twilight

♪♫

♫♪

Isn’t that the way they say it goes?

But let’s forget all that

And give me the number if you can find it

So I can call just to tell ’em

I’m fine and to show I’ve overcome the blow

I’ve learned to take it well

I only wish my words could just convince myself

That it just wasn’t real

But that’s not the way it feels

♪♫

♫♪

I am a lineman for the county

And I drive the main road

Searchin’ in the sun for another overload

I hear you singing in the wire

I can hear you through the whine

And the Wichita lineman

Is still on the line

♪♫

I hope you’re just kidding the person on the other end of the line, Brutus. Once you’re back on hold, no telling if your song will still be playing — or how long you’ll be waiting in the queue before your call is picked up again. Finish your business and then search for the song on YouTube.

My favorite experience with hold music occurred many years ago. I was working late, around Christmas time, and the firm provided a car service for the ride home. I called for the car, and was put on hold, and I got to hear Nat King Cole singing The Christmas Song. I was very pleased that the wait time was long enough for me to hear the entire song.

Brutus must be being sarcastic. Hopefully the customer service rep will give a chuckle and go on with service. Or, he/she might just give him more music and take a break.

I can’t truthfully say I’ve ever heard hold music that would make me want to listen to it for any length of time.

Brutus is a humble patient man.