The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 28, 2022

“THERE’S no need to fear! The designated driver is here!!”

He can now drive a Greyhound.

he needs a car with a sunwoof!

There still is the little problem with him wanting to pee on every hydrant. “This Car Makes Frequent Stops.”

Great obedience training, too!’

You showed you can sit in the driver’s seat, and stay in the proper lane.

With a license, you’re arf-way to freedom….

Even if a dog can’t buy a new car… I think they’ll give you a two-year leash.

Have a ball!

“Now let’s go ‘fetch’ that treat.”

Mr Peabody and Sherman

Bet that test was “Ruff”!

he now understands why the instructor was dogging him the whole time…

The real problem drivers are not those with their head out of the window, but those with their head up their a$$

He would be a better navigator, after all, he is a Pointer.

Whose a GOOD boy?

He can now take Polly Purebred out on a date?

Not only does my dog never offer to drive, but he doesn’t kick in for gas money, either. Mooch!

Not a drivers’ license. A marriage license. Where’s the bitch?

A dog’s requirement is a prehensile tail, and P.T. training not to wag it when a friend shows up.

Soon he’ll be Dachshund around town. :)

He nailed the 3-point-turn-around-before-you-lie-down-to-nap maneuver.

Jaguar. Small dog can be the boss of one for a change.

I have told all my dogs that when they turn 16 they can get their driver’s license. Beagles 1 and 2 were left briefly in a car – maybe three minutes – for a quick stop I had to made. Beagle 1 got into my seat before I got into the store and she put her paws on the horn. They were still on the horn when I came out. Beagle 3 was left alone recently briefly while I ran into the library. When I came out, my car had a screen showing me “theft attempted” and said dog was sitting in the driver’s seat. I will never know if someone tried to steal a hunting dog or if she just hit a button that set off the alert. She’s not 12 yet, but clearly not ready to drive.

My small family also has some unusual traditions. One was always at Christmas. I would put tags on gifts for my child that said they were from the cats, dogs, etc. As she got older, she asked me how they went shopping. I said on one day only, they used magic and I allowed them to take the car to go shopping just for her. When she asked me who was at the wheel, I said the hamster (extremely nearsighted). I think the dogs sat on the seats and the cats pushed the pedals. A little extra magic is a good thing sometimes. We also have the Birthday Hamster.

Parallel barking! I love it! I blew that part of my driving test, but still managed to pass. I don’t think they make you parallel park anymore.

He was asked “Did he:ever drive a Golf……he said “ It was a ball”……I’ll be here all week …Bada Bing

But he gets a lot of tickets for parking next to fire hydrants.

The bad part is that the car now has a seat warmer – seat wetter too.