Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 28, 2012
Transcript:
Rat: Good evening, my fellow citizens...if you could, please shut your pieholes. Goat: What now? Rat: Unsatisfied with the current slate of nominees, I, Rat, am declaring my candidacy for President of the United States. Goat: You? What's your big issue? Rat: Building a thousand-foot-tall wall along the border to keep out all these illegal immigrants. Goat: You're gonna build a thousand-foot-tall wall all the way from California to Texas to keep our Mexicans? Rat: No. From Washington to Maine to keep out Canadians. Goat: Suddenly, my voter apathy is growing. Rat: Hey! We don't need any more Justin Biebers sneaking across the border! Pig: He's from Canada? I knew I loved the Canadianese for a reason.
Vonne Anton about 12 years ago
Got my vote!
margueritem about 12 years ago
Those Canadianese are the greatest!
RuinQueenofOblivion about 12 years ago
Wow, I never thought Rat would make this much sense. NO MORE JUSTIN BIEBERS, VOTE FOR RAT!
Stan King about 12 years ago
2000 feet if need be.
Rod Gonzalez about 12 years ago
Impeach Rat!
coolhand000 about 12 years ago
I’m for Goat . .Anything will beat what we have now. . .NoMoO .!
Templo S.U.D. about 12 years ago
Rat does not want to be a (as American Alfred Yankovic said) Canadian idiot. Rat also needs a 1000-foot-high wall on Alaska.
Sisyphos about 12 years ago
Rat’s wall will be a monument to Canadian-US friendship! Vote Rat! Vote for the Friendship Wall!
orinoco womble about 12 years ago
Note to self: Do not read comments on websites from now until Madness Week is over in the US.
blunebottle about 12 years ago
Anybody remember Governor George Wallace? Part of his platform was to declare war on Canada..(…..but bring it on, you Yanks! We beat you in 1812….)
blunebottle about 12 years ago
The Arrogant Worms- War of 1812:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ety2FEHQgwM&feature=related
knight1192a about 12 years ago
Well I agree with the no more Justin Bieber part. But Rat’s idea would fail.
tangcameo about 12 years ago
Dammit! The Rat’s onto us! Quick! Someone load Carly Rae Jepsen into a van and send her to Vermont before they build this wall.
tangcameo about 12 years ago
Actually we didn’t beat the Americans in 1812. The current history campaign on Canadian TV ads is pretty misleading. Plus we lost part of the Maritimes as compensation to the US. They call it Maine now.
Shooter918 about 12 years ago
This dislike for Canada….what’s it all aboot?
Tue Elung-Jensen about 12 years ago
Rat would make a great politician – he got plenty of issues.
vwdualnomand about 12 years ago
walls are useless. romans had walls which resulted barbarian hordes overrunning the empire. berlin had a wall, result was an united germany. china still has a great wall, that still did not keep the northern tribes invading. the biggest problem of a wall, is maintaining that wall(manpower, money, maintenance, etc…). even warfare, fortifications and walls are useless, maginot line, siegfried line, etc…
finale about 12 years ago
I’ve heard that south Florida is becoming America’s (Fondue) Melting Pot.
Platinum Hippo about 12 years ago
HA HA!!! Classic Rat!
rolleg about 12 years ago
If Rush is from Canada, then I say: BOMB IT!
Keno21 about 12 years ago
Inflicting Justin Bieber on us was an act of war. I say, we send a Boy Scout troop to CONQUER Canada (except the froggy part- who wants it??), and make them take Bieber back!
uniquename about 12 years ago
Just saw Argo. Canadians rock!
CasualObserver about 12 years ago
I propose consolidating Canada, the U.S. and Mexico into one great Nation…makes sense to me. No walls other than the Rockies necessary and resources available to compete on the world market once again.
KEA about 12 years ago
excuse me while i barf
Black4dder about 12 years ago
Good thing Rat didn’t mention Celine Dion is Canadian. Then we would really be in trouble.
jmartin1955 about 12 years ago
If only he was Libertarian.
dutchs about 12 years ago
It’s not just the Biebers. It’s those deadly poutine spills, too!
gordrogb Premium Member about 12 years ago
@Redkaycei Repoc – Not the proper place dude. Take your vitriol someplace else.
Number Three about 12 years ago
Love the outfit, Rat!
Drop in your votes, Pig and Goat!
xxx
totalspaceman2010 about 12 years ago
@orinoco womble—Ditto.
TimmyF about 12 years ago
A wall to keep Canucks and Yanks on their own sides? Canadian support for Rat just grew to 99% (note: 1% margin for error)
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 12 years ago
I wonder what two of my favorite “Canadianese”, Gordon Lightfoot and Anne Murray, think of this cartoon!
jessegooddoggy about 12 years ago
Depending on the outcome, I might want to move to Canada….
TwihardBallerina about 12 years ago
rat does has a point with justin bieber…
foxxer about 12 years ago
Hey? What have we done to deserve such a “rant from rat”? Oh yeah ..Justin Bieber..sorry ’bout that eh?
Vonne Anton about 12 years ago
Funny thing…those who live along the border to the south…very few of them are fired up about border security. I know one town who’s fire department is largely manned by illegals; the illegals work and mix freely in all those border towns. Some get scared when someone gets killed, but they all know it’s the drugs that cause that to happen, and 90+% of illegals are not in the drug business; they just want to feed their families. It’s mostly the politicians/media/extreme right who keep that issue in the news, all for money.
sarah413 Premium Member about 12 years ago
Why build a wall when you have NHL owners effectively doing the same with the lockout?
GoodQuestion Premium Member about 12 years ago
Do away with the wall concept and annex Mexico and Canada; then we would all be Americans . . . .☻.(I guess we are already though . . . aren’t oui)
A_NY_Outlaw about 12 years ago
Oh Pig. Say it ain’t so…
robert.l.stevens about 12 years ago
If the wall can keep Bieber frommaking it back, I’d be for it. On behalf od all Canadianese, I would like to apologize for that (but hey, it was an American label who signed him). You’re welcome for Rush.
WaitingMan about 12 years ago
I could actually listen to Rush if Geddy Lee didn’t have a voice that could peel paint off a wall.
YatInExile about 12 years ago
We need a 1000-foot wall around Washington DC to keep the government in.
cyberguy about 12 years ago
@ИOMЯOM : Exactly what came to my mind
Perkycat about 12 years ago
Thank you! I keep saying that Obama walked into a huge mess – not of his doing. He is doing what he can to try to get us out but it takes time. People do forget too quickly and they expect changes over night -doesn’t happen that way. I personally am better off now than I was 4 years ago.
scooter88888888 about 12 years ago
whoa I’m from British Columbia and what about all our wood and maple syrup and snow????
Jeff0811 about 12 years ago
Whatever candidate starts his next speech with, “My fellow citizens, Shut your pieholes” has my vote.
firedome about 12 years ago
so justin’s from canada, eh? all this time i thought oregon was the bieber state…
xpurplezebra about 12 years ago
Rush Hudson Limbaugh III was born in Cape Girardeau, Missouri
Fan o’ Lio. about 12 years ago
How did we end up with Alaska anyway? It’s farther north than most of Canada.
Sayman about 12 years ago
Some people just have verbal diarrhea of political vitriol when they’re presented with a blank comments text box.
lmonteros about 12 years ago
I knew a couple “illegals” from Canada. Yup, they were here without proper documentation. I also knew “illegals” from France, Japan, Southeast Asia, England, and several countries in Latin America OTHER than Mexico and Guatemala.
freeholder1 about 12 years ago
Since the bail out was completely repaid by the auto industry, WITH INTEREST I’d gladly take the ’blame". Idiots who crashed the economy blame a successful; program that they;ve belittled, Bigger idiots defend the administration without defending the program.
freeholder1 about 12 years ago
He’s right. they been stealing our entertainment jobs for years.
Sherlock Watson about 12 years ago
I’m an American, and I’ll take SCTV over Saturday Night Lame any day.
comicmanfan about 12 years ago
This was a great comic I hope everbody enjoyed it as much asI did! Thought it was funny how the mouse said they don’t need any more Justin Biebers crossing the boarder!
tomielm about 12 years ago
Your pretending to be a Muslim making inflammatory statements to this forum is transparent and lame. Watch yourself — what goes around comes around!
lin4869 about 12 years ago
Not sure I understand the reason for hating Justin Bieber. He’s actually quite talented and is frequently generous with his money. Is it because he’s young?
doublepaw about 12 years ago
Too bad they didn’t stop Lush Rumball at the border…………
doublepaw about 12 years ago
I have wondered the same thing often.
TheHipponotapus about 12 years ago
Yeah, well I don’t want any Demi lavatos, Jonas brothers or Rebecca blacks sneaking onto MY side of the boarder so if I was in America, rat would have my vote!
the burser about 12 years ago
he’d get my vote, now if we can get him to build the lower wall to…
fmasroor about 12 years ago
While were at it lets kick out One Direction, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and every other pop dancepop singer out there.
iFerrarifan about 12 years ago
Justin Biebers aren’t the only ones we need to keep contained in Canada! don’t forget that Canada also subjected us to Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Nickelback, Theory of a Dead Man, Avril Lavigne and Carly Rae Jepsen. Though they are partially forgiven because they gave us RUSH and Alanis Morisette
m.l. about 12 years ago
iFerrarifan about 12 years ago
He means Rush, a Canadian progressive rock band best known for the song Tom Sawer, not the infamously stupid radio personality Rush Limbaugh.
Iwasfromrussia over 11 years ago
So you are 60-63 years old?
dudewithtude over 10 years ago
Pig’s a belieber? Wow, there’s finally something to not like about him
laurac5800 over 8 years ago
Holy crap, Donald Trump got his ideas from Pearls!
…if he becomes president, we’re all screwed.
Endersteve1027 over 8 years ago
So that’s where Trump got the idea…
WilllTreaty74 about 7 years ago
Stephen Pastis predicting the future yet again…
[Unnamed Reader - 8c1e87] about 6 years ago
At least the wall would keep Justin Beaber out.
Caerin Premium Member about 4 years ago
Sadly the Rat won…
*real* Guard Duck over 3 years ago
rat trump!
Comicfan (C) almost 3 years ago
OverSimplified made the same Mexican joke on the bErLiN wAlL on his Cold War video