Women - here is a truism. Men take things for face value. What you have is what you get. If you tell us something were going to believe you and if it turns out you didn’t want us to do it and later get angry, we are never going to understand why.
And yes, I have personal experience about this. “Why won’t she just !@#$%^& tell me what she wants me to do?”
Because women think we should be able to read their minds; after all, if we really loved them, we’d pay attention to their subtle body language and other non-verbal cues, so they wouldn’t HAVE to tell us what they’re really thinking – we’d just know it automatically because we were that into them!
But yes, in this case, John was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. If he’d stayed home, Elly would have accused him of NOT believing that she really wanted him to go out, and been mad at him for that reason. Since he believed her, she’s mad because he DIDN’T read between the lines and get that while her mouth was saying, “Go,” everything else was saying “Stay!”
We’ve seen this same “John doesn’t understand Elly” story used again and again and again, but Elly never changes and learns that John would have a much better idea what she was thinking if she’d be honest with him instead of waiting for him to become a mind reader.
I’m positive that Elly is blaming John for her miserable evening at home because it would never occur to her to speak her real thoughts aloud and just say that she’d had a bad day and would appreciate it if he could stay home this evening and help out.
Besides, we’ve already heard Elly complaining that she never has time to read the newspaper: why doesn’t she seize this opportunity, pop the kids in bed, and sit down to see what’s going on in the world?
it’s not so much that women believe men/everyone should be able to read their minds (though there are definitely some who think that).
the problem is that women are conditioned through conscious and subconscious social norms to not express their own opinions. they’re supposed to worry about what everyone else wants.
and women who do say what they think and feel are often labeled with some very nasty words…
Laughing at “pop the kids in bed”. If only it were so simple!
Elly is right that getting a last-minute sitter is expensive and hard, and she doesn’t want to hang with Ted anyway (would any woman?). But I bet she wishes she could go out either with John or with a friend of hers while he watches the kids.
I am pretty honest about what I would like my husband to do (I do not tell him what to do, but if he asks my opinion). I do not want him to go out and play games all day on a weekend, when we have things to do and he can see the kids. He wouldn’t reciprocate and have me go out with my friends. BUT I love when he goes out Thursday nights to play those games. He doesn’t miss much kid time and after they are in bed, I can watch Survivor without him whining how bad it is (well, yes, it is) and relax and eat junk food without anybody grumbling at me about anything!
(The games were games I used to play pre-kids. I am as good and serious a player as any of them. But now it’s only “the guys” who play and I’m not welcome, unless I want to shop/craft with their women, which I do not. And I know they think of me in the terms k8giggles mentions sometimes, because a real wife wouldn’t ever stop her husband’s fun and a real wife would always want to do girly things with the girls, even if she always expressed her dislike of these things pre-marriage)
So there you go, one woman among many. I often feel (and am told by those ubiquitous marriage-help articles for women, friends, etc) that I should act like Elly, selflessly encouraging my husband at any desire, only unlike her, to be cheerful that my husband wants to hang out elsewhere and I’m at home alone on a day I really want company.
A couple more points….she may not actually be mad at John…even though she encouraged him to go without her, it doesn’t mean she still doesn’t wish she could have gone as well. And sometimes it’s nice (and has nothing to do with mind reading) if our husbands would CHOOSE to spend time with us instead of running out the door at every opportunity and leaving us with the kids. It makes us feel like you still value us as a woman and friend.
Point one, he had already told Ted he’d go; then he said he had to check “with my wife” (not using her name…) What else could she do but say yes? Even if she wanted to say no he’d already put the onus on her. If he had not been so quick to say yes and said I’ll call you back in a bit maybe something more positive could have been worked out. And no, going out with Ted around would not be tops on this “wife’s” list!
As a guy, I have to say that I don’t see it as an attack on men, or the work of a self-hating woman either. It’s a piece of observational comedy, based on the fact that men and women are different, partly because of socialization and partly because of inherent neurological differences. We should all keep in mind that if men were indeed more sensitive to body language and the like, or if women were more direct in their expression, they would be less appealing to the opposite sexes in other ways. As always, TANSTAAFL.
Elly is not a doormat. The relationship develops if you read the storylines at fbofw.com, strip fix, strip archives. Search by book and you can read them all.
She eventually finds herself a job at a local library and writing a weekly children’s review column. During the rest of the strip she works, John helps out more.
These days couples divide the household and parenting tasks, but societally it took years to get to that point.
If anything today I see the pendulum swung too far the other way with some women dumping the kids with their husbands or pursuing their own interests at the expense of the family. It is a balancing act.
I am guessing that it was ok with her that he went out, but it WOULD have been nice to hear him say something like “Yeah, I’ll go hang with Ted for a while, but frankly, I’d rather be going out with you alone!”
I’m one of those women who always says what she means… but I wasn’t always, just changed shortly before I divored my X, back in 1975 (after 16 years of marriage).
I don’t get why people, men or women, do stuff like that. Just say what you mean. And guys do it too, I can say from experience. I make a point to say what I really want and expect from my boyfriend. It saves him a lot of frustration and me a lot of disappointment.
We men must actually get over the fact that this ain’t the 40’s and we ain’t married to Lucy. Heck, looking back at the guys I used to hang with, I probably would have been way better if I had stayed home more. Oh well.
Having said that, I still wish for more direct conversation, even if it’s negative. I can suddenly be catching h-e double toothpicks and later find out it was about something from two days ago.
In the end, just love one another enough to learn what to look for. Also, guys, do a check list like, is it worth it, will it really be fun, and so on. If it really isn’t worth it, stay home.
The part I would have a problem with is in the top panel - where John already told Ted, “Sure, I’ll be there - no problem”. What the heck?? If Elly had said “John, I would rather you stay here” or something to that effect, she would have looked like a major shrew, and John would have looked whipped, so how could she now say no? I have often said the same thing to my husband, “no, you go, I don’t mind”, and have genuinely meant it. And, there have been other times when I have said, I would really like us to spend the evening together. The latter times have been few and far between, as I don’t care if he goes out. But I appreciate that he asks what I think before he makes plans. I think from what I have read, Elly needs to be more assertive and tell John what she is thinking, in that “John, next time, I would appreciate you discussing it with me before telling Ted no problem.”
I think she needs to chill out and come up with a solution, and stop being so mad. My husband goes out much more than I do, and that’s fine. The only thing that I ask in return is that he is available to watch kids when I want to go out with my friends. I’ve never been a fan of playing games about how you really feel.
Wow, the comments are much more civil than I thought they’d be. What a nice surprise. :-)
If she said no she would be stuck with a grumpy husband who wanted to go out with his friend, not good companionship. Also, she would have to deal with being the shrew who told him he couldn’t go the next time she runs into one of his friends. He other choice is to get a last minute sitter and be a 3rd wheel that was not invited while John spends time with his friend. She chose to let him go, but is not happy about it. He needs to make it up to her by getting a sitter and planning a date night later that week. Men: we don’t mind when you go out with the guys as long as the time you spend at home is quality time and nothing is neglected.
It’s Elly’s own fault. She is responsible for her life (not him) and her choices sometimes just makes her life way too hard. She needs to rethink about what she REALLY wants and follow through. THEN she may be happier and so will those around her.
In my experience, I would say she is harboring other resentments and now she has found a focal point for them all. She is also upset with herself for painting herself into this corner.
Those of you objecting to the “No problem, let me check with my wife” bit, remember that the first 2 panels are always a throwaway gag - some papers crop them, so it has to be a standalone joke that isn’t necessary for the rest of the strip. It can produce a joke with a “ba-dump-bump” punchline, and those kinds of gags can sometimes be eye rollers.
As for Elly (and speaking as a woman), she needs to either say what she thinks, or get the heck over it when she doesn’t and things don’t turn out the way she wants. Though it would be nice if John gave her a night out later on in return.
Awwww! Poor thing, Elly! Alas, I know how she feels. I could tell why she gets upset. John told her that Ted wanted him to meet Ted at the pub for watching the game. Outside Elly’s feeling, she didn’t mind that John went out. BUT, inside her feeling, she got steaming furious!
I think John knows she isn’t going to want to go (ew!). I can totally understand how she is feeling in the last panel. She is home all day, taking care of kids, keeping the house in order and he is basically free to come and go. I am in a similar situation and it can be taxing and maddening by times.
You really can’t convince me that I’m as wrong as some would like me to believe I am about this woman. John knows it too, or wouldn’t have kept fishing for the inevitable psychotic break.
It’s, what did he call it? Iron flannel nightgowns for the rest of your life now John! HAHAHAHA!
They obviously had no plans, so one of them going out for a while should not be a problem (even with TED), but this is a martyr we’re talking about here. A perpetually resentful, unfulfilled, irrational martyr. It’s not like he ever does anything to help her when he’s around anyway. Plus, he DID ask her to go with him. Connie owes her quite a few favors, so she has no excuse to be mad, but predictably, there she is.
Had she gone with him, she’d have tons of reasons to be mad, between Ted’s crudeness and John never sticking up for her.
I am a stay-at-home wife and mom. My husband works very hard to support us (plus, he takes care of my widowed mother, as well). I really and truly don’t care if he goes out every now and then with a friend to do something fun for himself like play golf. He deserves it! Besides, it doesn’t happen too often and he stays home without complaint when I want to go out to dinner with my best friend every other month. Other than that, our family is together every night and that’s how we all like it.
But I do agree that after John said he’d meet Ted at the pub to watch the game, Elly had no choice but to say she didn’t mind (whether she did or not) or she’d look like a real b!tch if John had to then call Ted back and say he couldn’t come after all. This may be Ted-The-Biggest-Jerk-On-Earth but she still doesn’t want to look like a controlling shrew - even to him. However, once assuring John she didn’t care if he went, then she had no right to stew angrily about it after he left. If she’s afraid to speak her mind to her husband then that’s her fault. John’s not a mind-reader, even if she thinks that by now, he should be! I just hope she didn’t take it out on her kids afterwards. After all, it’s not their fault she doesn’t have a spine!
Sheila, I sure hope that if you aren’t getting YOUR night out of the house, you straighten that out soon. What’s fair is fair. 7 kids. Holy mackerels! You deserve more than one night for yourself.
Why don’t you take the kids bowling? You have a whole team there.
My only question is why does John want to go out with Ted in the first place? Didn’t John say just a couple of months ago how much he disagrees with Ted’s attitudes and “liaisons”?
Fishstix, you are on the right track - maybe not quite so abrupt, but it sure would save a lot of needless discussion.
@Sheila, is the oldest old enough to baby-sit the rest? or the two oldest? or can you afford a baby-sitter?
I have another idea which I was waiting to see if it would be posted, but no one has suggested it so far: After John leaves, Elly can call Connie and arrange to go out, then get a baby-sitter. So she has her own life too, doing something in which John is not involved, and she won’t be busy stewing over John’s behaviour. Why, she could even spend some time complaining about it to Connie (hopefully, not the whole evening), and get some of it out of her system.
I think Elly and the kids should watch the game at home while eating popcorn and having root beer floats or something fun like that, and discussing the game with John afterward. Maybe next time he’ll realize he’d have more fun with them and get to see the game, too!
Or tee hee, they could just take the kids along. I agree Ellie is a candidate for martyrdom, I just don’t think it makes her a bad mom and there’s no evidence that she whacks the kid up longside the head. If you want to see a bad mom, go see “Precious” – she takes the “award” in more than one way. And for all those who think the M word only applies to women, my husband is really good at it too.
I NEVER tell my husband he “can’t” go out with his friends or his dad. I really resent the idea that I have this authority–he’s a grown-up person, free to go where he likes and do what he chooses. Besides, or possibly because of this policy, these occasions don’t crop up that often, anyhow. He usually spends evenings and weekends with me and the kids, anyway, and that’s the way we like it. But if a friend of his invites him out for a beer or two, I tell him to have a good time and mean it. I have NEVER sulked afterward. All I ask is that he drive safely home. And I have the same freedom that he does. We’re both adults, after all.
Well if I were Elly I wouldn’t be upset. I mean c’mon it’s Ted. I wouldn’t shed a tear if I didn’t go! John owes her one which she can take at a later date. Fair is fair.
Elly’s “Well, you know how it is” statement could mean several things: It’s hard to get a baby-sitter last-minute … and if you can get one last-minute it’s very expensive (which they probably couldn’t afford) … or, not so very long ago, Michael was practically referenced as Calvin’s younger brother when it comes to getting someone willing to take him on! Or it could also mean “Well, you know how it is … I simply can’t stand Ted and I’d probably end up killing him before the night was over if I went along anyhow!”
Oh please…what an outdated men vs. women debate! I know no one in my circle of friends, male or female, who says it’s okay to do one thing and then sulk when the significant other takes it at face value and does just that.
There was nothing in Elly’s behavior that even hinted that she didn’t want John to go and have a good time. Her sulky face in the last panel leaves a bad taste in my mouth and strained my eye-muscles from all the eye-rolling. Elly needs to say what she means or put up with her own immature behavior.
I can’t stand the fact that some woman and wives act like this. If he hadn’t gone she would be bugging him all night that it was ok to go. I’m a wife and I don’t do this, this actually disgust me. why can’t women figure out that it is ok for the man to have a guys night out. oh bother.
wndrwrthg over 14 years ago
He will pay for it when he returns. Hell hath no fury like a woman.
Wolfdreamer250 over 14 years ago
Women - here is a truism. Men take things for face value. What you have is what you get. If you tell us something were going to believe you and if it turns out you didn’t want us to do it and later get angry, we are never going to understand why.
And yes, I have personal experience about this. “Why won’t she just !@#$%^& tell me what she wants me to do?”
Kiba65 over 14 years ago
Go figure!!!
legaleagle48 over 14 years ago
Because women think we should be able to read their minds; after all, if we really loved them, we’d pay attention to their subtle body language and other non-verbal cues, so they wouldn’t HAVE to tell us what they’re really thinking – we’d just know it automatically because we were that into them!
But yes, in this case, John was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. If he’d stayed home, Elly would have accused him of NOT believing that she really wanted him to go out, and been mad at him for that reason. Since he believed her, she’s mad because he DIDN’T read between the lines and get that while her mouth was saying, “Go,” everything else was saying “Stay!”
AdamsFamily1MW over 14 years ago
We’ve seen this same “John doesn’t understand Elly” story used again and again and again, but Elly never changes and learns that John would have a much better idea what she was thinking if she’d be honest with him instead of waiting for him to become a mind reader.
I’m positive that Elly is blaming John for her miserable evening at home because it would never occur to her to speak her real thoughts aloud and just say that she’d had a bad day and would appreciate it if he could stay home this evening and help out.
Besides, we’ve already heard Elly complaining that she never has time to read the newspaper: why doesn’t she seize this opportunity, pop the kids in bed, and sit down to see what’s going on in the world?
cdward over 14 years ago
Okay, women, what do you say?
k8giggles over 14 years ago
it’s not so much that women believe men/everyone should be able to read their minds (though there are definitely some who think that).
the problem is that women are conditioned through conscious and subconscious social norms to not express their own opinions. they’re supposed to worry about what everyone else wants.
and women who do say what they think and feel are often labeled with some very nasty words…
masnadies over 14 years ago
Laughing at “pop the kids in bed”. If only it were so simple!
Elly is right that getting a last-minute sitter is expensive and hard, and she doesn’t want to hang with Ted anyway (would any woman?). But I bet she wishes she could go out either with John or with a friend of hers while he watches the kids.
I am pretty honest about what I would like my husband to do (I do not tell him what to do, but if he asks my opinion). I do not want him to go out and play games all day on a weekend, when we have things to do and he can see the kids. He wouldn’t reciprocate and have me go out with my friends. BUT I love when he goes out Thursday nights to play those games. He doesn’t miss much kid time and after they are in bed, I can watch Survivor without him whining how bad it is (well, yes, it is) and relax and eat junk food without anybody grumbling at me about anything!
(The games were games I used to play pre-kids. I am as good and serious a player as any of them. But now it’s only “the guys” who play and I’m not welcome, unless I want to shop/craft with their women, which I do not. And I know they think of me in the terms k8giggles mentions sometimes, because a real wife wouldn’t ever stop her husband’s fun and a real wife would always want to do girly things with the girls, even if she always expressed her dislike of these things pre-marriage)
So there you go, one woman among many. I often feel (and am told by those ubiquitous marriage-help articles for women, friends, etc) that I should act like Elly, selflessly encouraging my husband at any desire, only unlike her, to be cheerful that my husband wants to hang out elsewhere and I’m at home alone on a day I really want company.
CarolinaGirl over 14 years ago
A couple more points….she may not actually be mad at John…even though she encouraged him to go without her, it doesn’t mean she still doesn’t wish she could have gone as well. And sometimes it’s nice (and has nothing to do with mind reading) if our husbands would CHOOSE to spend time with us instead of running out the door at every opportunity and leaving us with the kids. It makes us feel like you still value us as a woman and friend.
Allison Nunn Premium Member over 14 years ago
Point one, he had already told Ted he’d go; then he said he had to check “with my wife” (not using her name…) What else could she do but say yes? Even if she wanted to say no he’d already put the onus on her. If he had not been so quick to say yes and said I’ll call you back in a bit maybe something more positive could have been worked out. And no, going out with Ted around would not be tops on this “wife’s” list!
prrdh over 14 years ago
As a guy, I have to say that I don’t see it as an attack on men, or the work of a self-hating woman either. It’s a piece of observational comedy, based on the fact that men and women are different, partly because of socialization and partly because of inherent neurological differences. We should all keep in mind that if men were indeed more sensitive to body language and the like, or if women were more direct in their expression, they would be less appealing to the opposite sexes in other ways. As always, TANSTAAFL.
stopgap over 14 years ago
Elly is not a doormat. The relationship develops if you read the storylines at fbofw.com, strip fix, strip archives. Search by book and you can read them all.
She eventually finds herself a job at a local library and writing a weekly children’s review column. During the rest of the strip she works, John helps out more.
These days couples divide the household and parenting tasks, but societally it took years to get to that point.
If anything today I see the pendulum swung too far the other way with some women dumping the kids with their husbands or pursuing their own interests at the expense of the family. It is a balancing act.
emmaregina over 14 years ago
John only had to think of how he would feel if Elly was the one going out and he was the one left at home. How hard is that?
imrobert over 14 years ago
Well, of course, in “real” life, “John” didn’t understand “Elly” and certainly vise versa.
jaeldid66 over 14 years ago
I am guessing that it was ok with her that he went out, but it WOULD have been nice to hear him say something like “Yeah, I’ll go hang with Ted for a while, but frankly, I’d rather be going out with you alone!”
vldazzle over 14 years ago
I’m one of those women who always says what she means… but I wasn’t always, just changed shortly before I divored my X, back in 1975 (after 16 years of marriage).
notinksanymore over 14 years ago
I don’t get why people, men or women, do stuff like that. Just say what you mean. And guys do it too, I can say from experience. I make a point to say what I really want and expect from my boyfriend. It saves him a lot of frustration and me a lot of disappointment.
pawpawbear over 14 years ago
We men must actually get over the fact that this ain’t the 40’s and we ain’t married to Lucy. Heck, looking back at the guys I used to hang with, I probably would have been way better if I had stayed home more. Oh well.
Having said that, I still wish for more direct conversation, even if it’s negative. I can suddenly be catching h-e double toothpicks and later find out it was about something from two days ago.
In the end, just love one another enough to learn what to look for. Also, guys, do a check list like, is it worth it, will it really be fun, and so on. If it really isn’t worth it, stay home.
NoahsMama over 14 years ago
The part I would have a problem with is in the top panel - where John already told Ted, “Sure, I’ll be there - no problem”. What the heck?? If Elly had said “John, I would rather you stay here” or something to that effect, she would have looked like a major shrew, and John would have looked whipped, so how could she now say no? I have often said the same thing to my husband, “no, you go, I don’t mind”, and have genuinely meant it. And, there have been other times when I have said, I would really like us to spend the evening together. The latter times have been few and far between, as I don’t care if he goes out. But I appreciate that he asks what I think before he makes plans. I think from what I have read, Elly needs to be more assertive and tell John what she is thinking, in that “John, next time, I would appreciate you discussing it with me before telling Ted no problem.”
lightenup Premium Member over 14 years ago
I think she needs to chill out and come up with a solution, and stop being so mad. My husband goes out much more than I do, and that’s fine. The only thing that I ask in return is that he is available to watch kids when I want to go out with my friends. I’ve never been a fan of playing games about how you really feel.
Wow, the comments are much more civil than I thought they’d be. What a nice surprise. :-)
klamarre over 14 years ago
If she said no she would be stuck with a grumpy husband who wanted to go out with his friend, not good companionship. Also, she would have to deal with being the shrew who told him he couldn’t go the next time she runs into one of his friends. He other choice is to get a last minute sitter and be a 3rd wheel that was not invited while John spends time with his friend. She chose to let him go, but is not happy about it. He needs to make it up to her by getting a sitter and planning a date night later that week. Men: we don’t mind when you go out with the guys as long as the time you spend at home is quality time and nothing is neglected.
ricer46 over 14 years ago
Emmaregina, My wife sometimes went out and left me with the kids, while I might have been frazzled, I did not pout, nor did I hold it against her.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Elly, one word for you… communication.
EverlyHolly over 14 years ago
“I just have to check with my wife…” I hate hearing those words.
summerdog86 over 14 years ago
It’s Elly’s own fault. She is responsible for her life (not him) and her choices sometimes just makes her life way too hard. She needs to rethink about what she REALLY wants and follow through. THEN she may be happier and so will those around her.
alviebird over 14 years ago
Boy, this one brought out the opinions.
In my experience, I would say she is harboring other resentments and now she has found a focal point for them all. She is also upset with herself for painting herself into this corner.
Clobbered by Science Premium Member over 14 years ago
Those of you objecting to the “No problem, let me check with my wife” bit, remember that the first 2 panels are always a throwaway gag - some papers crop them, so it has to be a standalone joke that isn’t necessary for the rest of the strip. It can produce a joke with a “ba-dump-bump” punchline, and those kinds of gags can sometimes be eye rollers.
As for Elly (and speaking as a woman), she needs to either say what she thinks, or get the heck over it when she doesn’t and things don’t turn out the way she wants. Though it would be nice if John gave her a night out later on in return.
Wildmustang1262 over 14 years ago
Awwww! Poor thing, Elly! Alas, I know how she feels. I could tell why she gets upset. John told her that Ted wanted him to meet Ted at the pub for watching the game. Outside Elly’s feeling, she didn’t mind that John went out. BUT, inside her feeling, she got steaming furious!
billdi Premium Member over 14 years ago
i agree with fishstix – why go through all ‘caring nicey-nice’ about asking permission when the result in the last panel will inevitably be the same?
john is clueless and elly is a passive-aggressive martyr, but they do have cute kids.
mcveinot over 14 years ago
I think John knows she isn’t going to want to go (ew!). I can totally understand how she is feeling in the last panel. She is home all day, taking care of kids, keeping the house in order and he is basically free to come and go. I am in a similar situation and it can be taxing and maddening by times.
shewith5 over 14 years ago
I feel like that every Thursday… Hubby’s bowling night! I want him to go, but I wanna’ go too, but who will watch all 7 kids?
Dewey Premium Member over 14 years ago
Women do that all the time and then complain to their friends: “My husband and I don’t communicate anymore.”
mrslukeskywalker over 14 years ago
You really can’t convince me that I’m as wrong as some would like me to believe I am about this woman. John knows it too, or wouldn’t have kept fishing for the inevitable psychotic break.
It’s, what did he call it? Iron flannel nightgowns for the rest of your life now John! HAHAHAHA!
They obviously had no plans, so one of them going out for a while should not be a problem (even with TED), but this is a martyr we’re talking about here. A perpetually resentful, unfulfilled, irrational martyr. It’s not like he ever does anything to help her when he’s around anyway. Plus, he DID ask her to go with him. Connie owes her quite a few favors, so she has no excuse to be mad, but predictably, there she is.
Had she gone with him, she’d have tons of reasons to be mad, between Ted’s crudeness and John never sticking up for her.
Gretchen's Mom over 14 years ago
I am a stay-at-home wife and mom. My husband works very hard to support us (plus, he takes care of my widowed mother, as well). I really and truly don’t care if he goes out every now and then with a friend to do something fun for himself like play golf. He deserves it! Besides, it doesn’t happen too often and he stays home without complaint when I want to go out to dinner with my best friend every other month. Other than that, our family is together every night and that’s how we all like it.
But I do agree that after John said he’d meet Ted at the pub to watch the game, Elly had no choice but to say she didn’t mind (whether she did or not) or she’d look like a real b!tch if John had to then call Ted back and say he couldn’t come after all. This may be Ted-The-Biggest-Jerk-On-Earth but she still doesn’t want to look like a controlling shrew - even to him. However, once assuring John she didn’t care if he went, then she had no right to stew angrily about it after he left. If she’s afraid to speak her mind to her husband then that’s her fault. John’s not a mind-reader, even if she thinks that by now, he should be! I just hope she didn’t take it out on her kids afterwards. After all, it’s not their fault she doesn’t have a spine!
mrslukeskywalker over 14 years ago
Sheila, I sure hope that if you aren’t getting YOUR night out of the house, you straighten that out soon. What’s fair is fair. 7 kids. Holy mackerels! You deserve more than one night for yourself.
Why don’t you take the kids bowling? You have a whole team there.
alviebird over 14 years ago
Two whole teams!
Seven? They need some other hobbies!
JanLC over 14 years ago
My only question is why does John want to go out with Ted in the first place? Didn’t John say just a couple of months ago how much he disagrees with Ted’s attitudes and “liaisons”?
Fishstix, you are on the right track - maybe not quite so abrupt, but it sure would save a lot of needless discussion.
RinaFarina over 14 years ago
@Sheila, is the oldest old enough to baby-sit the rest? or the two oldest? or can you afford a baby-sitter?
I have another idea which I was waiting to see if it would be posted, but no one has suggested it so far: After John leaves, Elly can call Connie and arrange to go out, then get a baby-sitter. So she has her own life too, doing something in which John is not involved, and she won’t be busy stewing over John’s behaviour. Why, she could even spend some time complaining about it to Connie (hopefully, not the whole evening), and get some of it out of her system.
RinaFarina over 14 years ago
By the way, when Elly says, “You know how it is” - no, I don’t know how it is. How is it? Anyone have any suggestions?
Seems to me an excellent example of a contentless sentence.
CarolinaGirl over 14 years ago
and believe me, Ted will stay a bachelor.
lfanterickson over 14 years ago
I think Elly and the kids should watch the game at home while eating popcorn and having root beer floats or something fun like that, and discussing the game with John afterward. Maybe next time he’ll realize he’d have more fun with them and get to see the game, too!
lindz.coop Premium Member over 14 years ago
Or tee hee, they could just take the kids along. I agree Ellie is a candidate for martyrdom, I just don’t think it makes her a bad mom and there’s no evidence that she whacks the kid up longside the head. If you want to see a bad mom, go see “Precious” – she takes the “award” in more than one way. And for all those who think the M word only applies to women, my husband is really good at it too.
wholescot Premium Member over 14 years ago
NEVER say “I’ll be there” and then check with the wife. It’s the other way around, twit.
SaraCVT over 14 years ago
I NEVER tell my husband he “can’t” go out with his friends or his dad. I really resent the idea that I have this authority–he’s a grown-up person, free to go where he likes and do what he chooses. Besides, or possibly because of this policy, these occasions don’t crop up that often, anyhow. He usually spends evenings and weekends with me and the kids, anyway, and that’s the way we like it. But if a friend of his invites him out for a beer or two, I tell him to have a good time and mean it. I have NEVER sulked afterward. All I ask is that he drive safely home. And I have the same freedom that he does. We’re both adults, after all.
BigHug over 14 years ago
Well if I were Elly I wouldn’t be upset. I mean c’mon it’s Ted. I wouldn’t shed a tear if I didn’t go! John owes her one which she can take at a later date. Fair is fair.
Gretchen's Mom over 14 years ago
Elly’s “Well, you know how it is” statement could mean several things: It’s hard to get a baby-sitter last-minute … and if you can get one last-minute it’s very expensive (which they probably couldn’t afford) … or, not so very long ago, Michael was practically referenced as Calvin’s younger brother when it comes to getting someone willing to take him on! Or it could also mean “Well, you know how it is … I simply can’t stand Ted and I’d probably end up killing him before the night was over if I went along anyhow!”
lectrice over 14 years ago
Oh please…what an outdated men vs. women debate! I know no one in my circle of friends, male or female, who says it’s okay to do one thing and then sulk when the significant other takes it at face value and does just that.
There was nothing in Elly’s behavior that even hinted that she didn’t want John to go and have a good time. Her sulky face in the last panel leaves a bad taste in my mouth and strained my eye-muscles from all the eye-rolling. Elly needs to say what she means or put up with her own immature behavior.
newworldmozart over 14 years ago
I can’t stand the fact that some woman and wives act like this. If he hadn’t gone she would be bugging him all night that it was ok to go. I’m a wife and I don’t do this, this actually disgust me. why can’t women figure out that it is ok for the man to have a guys night out. oh bother.