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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 21, 2015
January 20, 2015
January 22, 2015
Transcript:
Rat: What do you have there, Steph?
Pastis: Bagels from my trip to Montreal. Montreal makes the best bagels in the world.
Person: Screw youze, cartoon boy!
Rat: New York offers a retort.
As a New Yorker of my acquaintance tells it, even Manhattan doesnāt have good bagels anymore. It seems the traditional bagel crust comes from a lye bath, but once the EPA declared that bagel places needed emergency showers and eye-washing stations, they all changed their recipes.
I live in Montreal, so I know the difference between a NYC bagel and one from Montreal. A NYC bagel can be used to maim someone if thrown with enough velocity, not so with with a Montreal bagel, which is softer and meant to be eaten deliciously with or without cream cheeseā¦yum!!!
I used to think people from New York were the well bread upper crust. . . It now seems theyāre just a bunch of crumbs held together by a lot of dough . . .
There, that should clear out the rest of the puns . . .
Not just Montreal bagels, but St-Viateur bagels (nice detail, Steph)!! Open 24 hours ā nothing like picking up a hot dozen sesame bagels and cream cheese in the middle of the night, going to the look-out on Mont-Royal and looking at the city lights while listening to some cool jazzā¦
SNL went stale after Eddie M and Joe P left. then we saw a line of horrible frat boy pranks and slapstick. It was grueling until Ms. Fey and Ms. Rudolph came along. But now it is time to say farewell to the SNL institution. It is done.
A whole bag of St. Viateur bagels? Maybe Da New York Drive-By is for his own good, ācause Cartoon Boy was turning into something big and round and stuffed with more than just a load of pastramiā¦.
iffin new york bagels can knock you out with one throw than i am afraid that they would be way too hard for me and i would choose the montreal bagel cause pastis at least can take a bite out of a montreal bagel so i figure i might be able to
Reminds me of the cartoon āMirandyās Biscuitsā ā Hatfield/McCoy like feud with people using rock hard, baked products as weapons. Bagels in Charlottesville Va? Can you say āCarpetbaggersā.If it aināt biscuits ā it aināt Southern.
NYC ā and I do not live there ā is simply the best place in North America to find a Jewish deli, a kosher restaurant of any cuisine, or a bagel with lox or a schmear. Sorry, but it just is, like classical music is better than anything popular. You all KNOW, whatever your personal listening tastes are, that Bach and Beethoven are great and your guy or gal is entertaining.
Sherlock Watson about 10 years ago
Donāt take that, Steph ā point out to him that the city that gives us āSaturday Night Lameā has nothing to be proud of.
Ida No about 10 years ago
Drive-by bageling.The worst kind.
stlwahoo about 10 years ago
Would that be a Linzer retorte?
oldschool434 about 10 years ago
looks like Stephan has never met a bagel he hasnāt lovedā¦..
NoSleepTil_BKLYN about 10 years ago
Only NYC has REAL bagels!
Everything else is just STALE DOUGHNUTS!
(Yeah! I said it!!)
juicebruce about 10 years ago
What gives,Rat did not throw that bungleā¦ā¦ā¦I mean bagel.
juicebruce about 10 years ago
What gives,Rat did not throw that bungleā¦ā¦ā¦I mean bagel.
pschearer Premium Member about 10 years ago
As a New Yorker of my acquaintance tells it, even Manhattan doesnāt have good bagels anymore. It seems the traditional bagel crust comes from a lye bath, but once the EPA declared that bagel places needed emergency showers and eye-washing stations, they all changed their recipes.
doublepaw about 10 years ago
So New York has a role in thisā¦ā¦ā¦..
eddie6192 about 10 years ago
The guy who bopped Toon Boy speaks good Brooklynese.
luv2bead about 10 years ago
now if only Cartoon Boy visited us here in Winnipegā¦
katfromky about 10 years ago
I prefer english muffins!
bigbadpete about 10 years ago
Fairmount or St-Viateur Bagels? I prefer Fairmount. One more reason to visit Montreal.
mrrguitar about 10 years ago
I live in Montreal, so I know the difference between a NYC bagel and one from Montreal. A NYC bagel can be used to maim someone if thrown with enough velocity, not so with with a Montreal bagel, which is softer and meant to be eaten deliciously with or without cream cheeseā¦yum!!!
Chief Inspector about 10 years ago
āNew York Style" everything is over rated at best
puddlesplatt about 10 years ago
bagels is like chewing on yesterdays rubber, never could understand the likes?
Dave459 about 10 years ago
I used to think people from New York were the well bread upper crust. . . It now seems theyāre just a bunch of crumbs held together by a lot of dough . . .
There, that should clear out the rest of the puns . . .
MeGoNow Premium Member about 10 years ago
Hey! Thatās assault with a deli weapon.
bornfree99 about 10 years ago
feels more like a fruit cake than a bagel.
SallyLin about 10 years ago
UToob has a vid of Stephan talking about his trip to Montreal that shows the bagels he likes so much. They look fabulous!!
singlefemalelaywer about 10 years ago
Iām surprised they didnāt choke him outā¦ā¦ā¦.
pjdougherty about 10 years ago
Wait! That bag reads St. Viateur!! Heathen!Fairmount rules the land, damnit!
angelfelina9 about 10 years ago
Not just Montreal bagels, but St-Viateur bagels (nice detail, Steph)!! Open 24 hours ā nothing like picking up a hot dozen sesame bagels and cream cheese in the middle of the night, going to the look-out on Mont-Royal and looking at the city lights while listening to some cool jazzā¦
garcoa about 10 years ago
Death by bagels.
cindyorch about 10 years ago
I vote NYC.
nosirrom about 10 years ago
Ha ha ha. Stephan just got schmeared.
sarah413 Premium Member about 10 years ago
And Rangers fan screams āPotvin socks!ā Or, something to that effect.
Bruinsmann about 10 years ago
Bodoās Bagels in Charlottesville, VA ā āwater bagelsā. Awesome bagels, and made into sandwiches at the shop make them even better
Al Nala about 10 years ago
Montreal, home of French-Fried Bagels! With fromage!
wvrr about 10 years ago
Iāve had both. A Montreal bagel is a bagel. A NY bagel is called a bagel much like a Crispy Cream product is called a doughnut.
barister about 10 years ago
SNL went stale after Eddie M and Joe P left. then we saw a line of horrible frat boy pranks and slapstick. It was grueling until Ms. Fey and Ms. Rudolph came along. But now it is time to say farewell to the SNL institution. It is done.
barister about 10 years ago
DDās are better.
Number Three about 10 years ago
As Iāve said many times, Stephan canāt say right for saying wrong.
xxx
Sisyphos about 10 years ago
A whole bag of St. Viateur bagels? Maybe Da New York Drive-By is for his own good, ācause Cartoon Boy was turning into something big and round and stuffed with more than just a load of pastramiā¦.
Saddenedby Premium Member about 10 years ago
iffin new york bagels can knock you out with one throw than i am afraid that they would be way too hard for me and i would choose the montreal bagel cause pastis at least can take a bite out of a montreal bagel so i figure i might be able to
ellisaana Premium Member about 10 years ago
Reminds me of the cartoon āMirandyās Biscuitsā ā Hatfield/McCoy like feud with people using rock hard, baked products as weapons. Bagels in Charlottesville Va? Can you say āCarpetbaggersā.If it aināt biscuits ā it aināt Southern.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 10 years ago
NYC ā and I do not live there ā is simply the best place in North America to find a Jewish deli, a kosher restaurant of any cuisine, or a bagel with lox or a schmear. Sorry, but it just is, like classical music is better than anything popular. You all KNOW, whatever your personal listening tastes are, that Bach and Beethoven are great and your guy or gal is entertaining.
dgpic4 about 10 years ago
Stephan, LOVED your comic strip on Montreal Habs; how about the Toronto Maple Laughs. Rat could be the new coach.
claire de la lune. about 10 years ago
You should send that one to Stephan.
HowieL about 10 years ago
I usedta live a couple a blocks from da Nelson Avenue Bagel Factory in Da Bronx. There have never been better.
Bencg59 about 10 years ago
You couldnāt harm someone with a New York bagel. That in itself is an insult.
alikgator about 10 years ago
New York makes some hard bagels it would seem.
comicsnerd74 almost 10 years ago
āScrew Youze Cartoon Boyā?Montreal IS the best, and I donāt live there, so Iām not biased.
BenjaminSilversten about 5 years ago
itās true. bagels are only good in nyc or nj
ratās insurance counselor almost 5 years ago
I have an amazing bagel sandwich shop near me. It has won multiple awards and is just so good. Writing this comment makes my mouth water.