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Itâs very simple⌠Iâm the woman and youâre the man⌠I (the woman) make the rules⌠if you (the man) ever figure out what the rules are I change the rulesâŚ
My wife phoned me and asked me to bring home 7-Up. I said, âOK, 7-Up.â I got 7-Up on my way home, and put it on the kitchen table. She said, âWhereâs the ginger ale?âYou canât win, or even tie.
@ Gokie5The real problem is that their refrigerator isnât big enough.
So, I make real good ginger ale from lemons, ginger, sugar, and water, and fill a 5 gallon soda keg in my homebrew draft system. In a week or two, itâs carbonated, and I announce that itâs ready. Six weeks after that, I have drunk the last of it, she goes to get some, and squawks that itâs all gone, she only got two glasses, and Iâm consuming too much sugar.
Iâve been married twice & had 5 daughters⌠it took me a long time to figure out that females do not think the way males do.I can look at a wall & see blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. Most any guy I know will see âaboutâ the same thing I see when I look at that wall.For a great many years (almost forever) I figured the females in my life saw the same thing on that wall, we had common ground.Turns out I was wrong. Iâm not sure what âsheâ sees when she looks at that wall but itâs not blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. I have to keep in mind that my basic expectations (on everything) are not the same as herâs.Knowing that I have no idea whatâs going on has helped a tiny bitâŚ
I saw Danny Thomas in Vegas a number of years ago and he explained that the secret of the success of his long term marriage (a rarity in Hollywood) was that he and his wife made a deal on their wedding day â he got to make all the big decisions and she got to make the little ones. He was asked what the difference was. He replied: âIts a big decision whether the U.S. goes to war. A little decision would be where we live, what I do for a living, etc.â When asked how many big decisions he had made in the 37 years theyâd been married he replied: âNone, but Iâm readyâ.
A number of years ago while at dinner with my second wife and her adult daughter. I went to say something and was commande by both to shut up. This happened again a few months later. A few weeks ago, they had another conversation that bothered me and I left. When I came home several hours later my wife asked me why I left and I reminded her of the incidents several years before. Her only request is that I inform her Iâm leaving.
Dtroutma over 9 years ago
New page every day, throw out yesterdayâs, a constant work in progress.
Randy B Premium Member over 9 years ago
Itâs rational to check the user interface for some kind of interactive help.
Wallythe2 over 9 years ago
Itâs very simple⌠Iâm the woman and youâre the man⌠I (the woman) make the rules⌠if you (the man) ever figure out what the rules are I change the rulesâŚ
Superfrog over 9 years ago
Iâm sure there used to be a Quick Start Guide but I havenât seen one recently.
Varnes over 9 years ago
Women are easy to stand underâŚ.
mischugenah over 9 years ago
Since when do men actually read instruction manuals? :P
phylum over 9 years ago
women..use and care manualâŚ.oua;ejhd ;laljr a. ;oalif aj;a fno;adina;lcja;sldk ja;ldjaLD..dkda;ekdjmvm..lsdjfca fjdkal;dkaidkik dka akiod, kdial a dkiald ..LDâŚaoiekdkja⌠1 xxx xxx xxxx..
Hugh B. Hayve over 9 years ago
A much better comeback would have been âYes, here are your instructionsâ and hands him a really thick book.
Reppr Premium Member over 9 years ago
or the billâŚ.
Brass Orchid Premium Member over 9 years ago
Imagine the sales of that book.
alviebird over 9 years ago
Mine would probably be mostly pictures, and any text would be in confusingly broken English.
whiteheron over 9 years ago
Merlin knew the answer:.How to handle a woman< /a>
Arianne over 9 years ago
If he canât understand why âThanks for the mammariesâ isnât the best way to end a date, then Bobâs hopelessness is all on him.
Plods with ...⢠over 9 years ago
Try John Grayâs book.
Lyons Group, Inc. over 9 years ago
Eeh.
Dour Scotsman over 9 years ago
Bobs only hope is for her instinct to mate and have babies exceeds her commonsense. Happily it worked for me.
Bikebrains over 9 years ago
The Honey Do List is an instruction manual but not the type that Bob was expecting or needs.
PsychoDyke over 9 years ago
My user manual can fit on a 3 Ă 5 cardâŚ
I will not lieI will not cheatI will not steal
Duncan Idaho over 9 years ago
I just keep pushing buttons until it does what I want or crashes completely
grainpaw over 9 years ago
My wife phoned me and asked me to bring home 7-Up. I said, âOK, 7-Up.â I got 7-Up on my way home, and put it on the kitchen table. She said, âWhereâs the ginger ale?âYou canât win, or even tie.
kwschatz over 9 years ago
If all else fails, RTFM.
dabugger over 9 years ago
Problem is those of programers are marginally illiterate.
MS72 over 9 years ago
Itâs real easy. Whatever you say or do, itâs wrong.
yimhere over 9 years ago
I donât think Bob Hope ever gave upâŚ..?
grainpaw over 9 years ago
@ Gokie5The real problem is that their refrigerator isnât big enough.
So, I make real good ginger ale from lemons, ginger, sugar, and water, and fill a 5 gallon soda keg in my homebrew draft system. In a week or two, itâs carbonated, and I announce that itâs ready. Six weeks after that, I have drunk the last of it, she goes to get some, and squawks that itâs all gone, she only got two glasses, and Iâm consuming too much sugar.
becida over 9 years ago
Iâve been married twice & had 5 daughters⌠it took me a long time to figure out that females do not think the way males do.I can look at a wall & see blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. Most any guy I know will see âaboutâ the same thing I see when I look at that wall.For a great many years (almost forever) I figured the females in my life saw the same thing on that wall, we had common ground.Turns out I was wrong. Iâm not sure what âsheâ sees when she looks at that wall but itâs not blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. I have to keep in mind that my basic expectations (on everything) are not the same as herâs.Knowing that I have no idea whatâs going on has helped a tiny bitâŚ
ZorkArg over 9 years ago
Wrong title â The instruction book is called a âWuh-manual.â
milady1 over 9 years ago
Isnât Facebook/social media the new instruction manual? You can learn everything you never wanted to know about a person on social media these days.
Rarely over 9 years ago
A friend of mine with 9 kids (5 daughters) and 3 sisters explained it to me very simply: âTheyâre just from a different planet.â Case closed.
Rarely over 9 years ago
I saw Danny Thomas in Vegas a number of years ago and he explained that the secret of the success of his long term marriage (a rarity in Hollywood) was that he and his wife made a deal on their wedding day â he got to make all the big decisions and she got to make the little ones. He was asked what the difference was. He replied: âIts a big decision whether the U.S. goes to war. A little decision would be where we live, what I do for a living, etc.â When asked how many big decisions he had made in the 37 years theyâd been married he replied: âNone, but Iâm readyâ.
diggertsi over 9 years ago
But guys donât read instruction manuals!
mr_sherman Premium Member over 9 years ago
A number of years ago while at dinner with my second wife and her adult daughter. I went to say something and was commande by both to shut up. This happened again a few months later. A few weeks ago, they had another conversation that bothered me and I left. When I came home several hours later my wife asked me why I left and I reminded her of the incidents several years before. Her only request is that I inform her Iâm leaving.
dgraham882 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Direct quote from my wife: âIt wouldnât matter if we did, because yâall never read the instructions.â
Hunter7 over 9 years ago
No Instruction Manual. There is a Guide Book Compendium. But you have to be female to get access.