Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 02, 2015

When someone would ask my husband what it was like to own a boat he would say, “Stand in the shower and throw money in the toilet.”

Another old saying: The two happiest days in a sailors life are when he gets his first boat and when he sells it.

I live on a “foothill” and we used to hike to the summit behind us. Seems someone bought the whole mountain, fenced, and posted it…. why? I’d let foot traffic hike it, at least. What’s the harm? No houses up there, just a flag and a cairn.I guess saying, “It’s mine” is reason enough….So, with that in mind, can I buy some of the ocean, say from my deck to the 12 mile limit?

What floats your boat? Cash flow.

We had a boat….once. And it’s true, you just throw money at it. Sold it about 25 years ago, Now Husband wants another one. I think he forgot about the “throwing money” part.

I wonder if Wiley was referring to his own experience, or to that of someone he knew.

I’ve heard mechanics refer to those vessels by their acronym, Bust Out Another Thousand.

My father-in-law was happier sailing his 6-ft dinghy than he was commanding the 26-ft sloop he bought to tow it with.I preferred the sloop:By the time we were out of the harbor, he was asleep in the forward berth and the vessel was all mine to enjoy . . . with absolutely no financial responsibility on my part! :o]

the bigger the boat the bigger the bucket….

Chumming the Water for Buyers.

Ships have captains, boats have skippers. The exception being submarines.

BOAT, Break Out Another Thousand

We owned sailboats for years, and while there are costs involved, that’s true of pretty much any leisure time activity. However, unlike the Harley, when we were moving from FL to MD, we were able to live on our boat for several months while looking for a house. And we enjoyed vacations as we sailed for a week or two, going from place to place as we wished. Alas, the reality of retirement came down to boat-or-anything-else. Oddly enough, we don’t miss it as much as we’d expected to. And there’s still the Harley…

I think this is a revamp of an older Wiles strip. A classic that never ages.

I have owned a small boat since I was 21. I have owned 6 different ones, the largest being 21ft. There will come a day when it will be too much work and effort to use it, but there will probably be a boat in my yard until the day I sail away..Under the wide and starry sky, Dig the grave and let me lie. Glad did I live and gladly die, And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:

Here he lies where he longed to be; Home is the sailor, home from sea, And the hunter home from the hill.

We are on our 7th bass boat. Live close enough to 2 lakes that we don’t have to go far. Sits beside the garage in its own parking space, no dock/slip fee. Best part? A Saturday or Sunday afternoon sitting on the water, casting a line, forgetting about all worries. You can find bad in anything. Just like home ownership. Ever notice how much upkeep, taxes, etc. will run you? Talk about throwing money into bottomless pits….

If you can carry it on a ship, it’s a boat.

The old description of sailing was tearing up $50 bills while having a cold shower

A boat is a hole in the water that you must keep filled with money.

This is one of my favorite when it came out in 2003.

Old joke, a guy brings a friend to see his boat which was a modest model. How can you afford this. I own stock says the owner. The friend sees this huge boat in the marina and says that that guy must have a LOT OF STOCK! The owner says to the friend, nope, that’s my Stock Broker’s boat!

Another variation…

Boat: a hole in the water in which one continuously pours money.

Told to me by a good friend who owned a donut shop and would go out on his boat in the mornings after his work day ended (which was about 10AM).

A boat can be carried on a ship.

While submarines may be called boats, they really aren’t by definition, most boats are not subs.

I remember when Bill Watterson drew a cartoon jokingly accusing Berke Breathed of selling out to keep up his boating habit. http://i.imgur.com/Uw5GSQX.jpg

All navy vessels are boats. A sailor would never call a boat he was on, a ship.

Sea FeverBY JOHN MASEFIELDI must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tideIs a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.

Same with cars anymore. Houses, too.

The wisest boat owners LIVE on their boats. A friend of ours was asked how long did they expect to live on their boat. He said. “82.” “So you’ll live on you boat until you’re 82?”“No, until there’s no place I can sail to that is 82 degrees when I get there.”

Right in mid-summer and reality. Problem, how much money can be thrown away before meeting the coroner?

I wish it were that simple. Tell this to the idiots in the LOUD cigarette boats up and down the river every Saturday and Sunday all summer long.

that is the same as paintball and firearms at the range. wasting money. each round is $. and, the braggarts with exclaim i have a 150 round drum. and, if each round costs $, then that is a lot of money wasted.

“…. boats generally refer to submarines.”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I’vve lived on the Gulf of Mexico almost all my life, and I went by liner twice to Europe.And I’ve NEVER heard that ‘boats’ generally refer to ‘submarines.’

According the U.S. Naval Institute, a boat, generally speaking, is small enough to be carried aboard a larger vessel, and a vessel large enough to carry a smaller one is a ship.USN 65-95

Are we speaking from experience here, Wiley?

Remember, there are only two types of sea-going vessels. Submarines and targets.

A sailboat: “hours and hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror”

When I was on a riverboat [actually a ship] in Europe, I was told the difference was: If you need more than one person to pilot the vessel – it is a ship; otherwise a single pilot-needed vessel is a boat..There were no lifeboats on our vessel.

I thought boats were expensive until I got involved with aircraft; cost of maintaining and flying an aircraft is about an order of magnitude worse.

Top panel, left side: Well played phallic.

You have to be very rich or very working class to have a boat.

When living at Lake Havasu, had a little $25 rubber raft for fishing, a friend had a multi-thousand dollar bass boat. I always caught more fish than he did, but he had a lot more room for beer, which may be why I ended up with more fish???

As Judge Milian likes to say, “The 2 happiest times for a boat owner is buying the boat and then selling the boat.”

But I’ve never heard the Patrol Torpedo surface vessel referred to a s a PT ship.

The same is true for airplanes

Is this a repeat? My father in law has had a strip with this gag on his wall for as long as I can remember, but I don’t know if it was Non Sequitur.

Love Non-S and everything Wiley does. But I’m pretty sure this was a Jim Berry cartoon a long time ago,

This is painfully true.

Miller did this one in landscape format a long time, or 2 boats, ago. I still have the Sunday Funnies strip laminated on my boat. I was going to complain that he was going into re-runs, but it’s still funny and true.

First-World Problems.

B.O.A.T.BreakOutAnotherThousand