Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 21, 2015

Newton came up with that law after he took a bite out of the apple.

Newton wouldn’t give a fig about this.

So, Newton was also the inventor of the See Food diet?

I had a sister-in-law that obeyed Newton’s fourth law in every sense of the word.

It’s true. Must ……….. eat ……………. rest of ………….. fries.

Not true at all. I can stop eating Wendy’s and McDonald’s French fries within five minutes of receiving them and still have half or better left. And usually less than five minutes. That’s because their cold a few minutes after you get them.

I’m with Pig on this one!

Actually, I think it was Grandma’s First Law; namely, “clean your plate, young man! What about the starving masses in [fill in hunger-stricken country of choice]!”

Pig is absolutely correct. Every time I visit Five Guys, they load the bag up with fries, spilling them everywhere. It’s beautiful, I tell you. I must eat them all. Including the bits.

Oh, and congratulations on winning the Reuben. You deserve it.

Um, pig! Hate to break it to you, but you’re already fat.

Pig’s last line explains cable news talking heads.

I thought that law applied to gossip….

Better not take Pig to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I apologize in advance, but I do have a streak of grammar OCD. F6F5Hellcat, Prof’s hubbie, please discuss between the two of you the possessive case versus contractions. I am assuming an auto-correct issue.

STOP IT! I’m on a diet! You’re killin’ me!

Yes Pig but the motion is capable of being stop without an exchange of momentum.Insert foot.

I agree with Pig, 100%!

allan sherman "clean your plate cause children are starving in europe. so i cleaned my plate, 3, 4, 6 times a day. but they kept starving and i got fat. so if you see a fat person on the street. do not scoff at that fat person. take off your hat & say hail to thee fat person! you kept us out of war! (with patriotic music gradually growing louder and crescendoing)

Prof’s hubbie: Sorry – I was struck by the contrast. I’ve never previously (publicly) commented on an issue regarding grammar. You did succeed. I haven’t heard that expression before, but I get the gist.

Sadly, Pig is right on this one.

Piggy is not fat; he’s just drawn that way….

Just ask Donald Trump about Newton’s Fourth Law.

Hot fries? I got a 2nd degree burn (small) on my forearm while struggling to carry a bag of Wing Stop chicken & fries to my car. Stupid bag design kept them laying against my arm (also carrying a soda). Still have the scar.

I learned a trick from some magazine back in the 90’s. It said to stick to a diet of moderation, you can get rid of temptation by sabotaging your food. Covering the portion you shouldn’t eat with salt or by pouring water over it. Anything to make it highly unlikely you would eat it.

Sounds like Donald Trump

I agree with Pig 100% here.

Chips are awesome. I like thick ones and skinny ones.

xxx

Hey, Prof’s, if you’re going to do that to us, give us some ketchup, or at least some malt vinegar!

Sadly almost nobody who does ’em like that around here. One or two places, and they do slightly thicker steak fries. Worse, better than half the folks around here think fish and chips means a bag of potato chips with fish.

I know several people – some of them famous, some of them not – that have that problem with talking. Once they start, you can’t get a word in edgewise…

Ha ha! Very true. My new words to live by.

Ha ha! Very true. My new words to live by.

I ALWAYS ACCIDENTALLY POST IT TWICE!!

Same with watermelon. And chips. And many other foods…

Actually, tons of french fries go uneaten in American restaurants. Many restaurants put far too many on the plate, so they can justify their prices by making it look like you get a lot for your money. I usually don’t finish my fries in a restaurant.

Pig’s not the only one. Sigh…

If Pig gets really fat everyone around him may start thinking bacon.

Man, have I been there.