For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for June 10, 2010

In summary men will always be considered pigs.

On a more serious note, I would take a chauvinist over a boor anytime. I consider it polite and not as a put down towards women. There are people that don’t like to be spoiled by someone who loves them, but I’m definitely not one of those people.

When a guy does those things for me I don’t take it as a threat to my independence, I say thank you and if I get the chance I try and return the favor. Like if they hold a door for me and there’s a second door just past it I’ll go and hold that door for them. It almost always makes them smile.

Yeah, I agree, doing those things is a show of polite acknowledgment, it shows a man respects women in general and his mom did a good job raising him. I have no problem with old-fashioned manners. However, holding doors for others is a non-gender-specific politeness - everyone should do it.

I also agree, but does Ted really think that holding a door open is on the same level as ” she’s a keeper John, a man needs a pampering…” Not even close. He was being boorish. But those woman out there that throw a fit when a man is polite and holds a door open, really need to get there head’s checked.

BTW, a chauvinist is a person who thinks his/her country is better than the rest. Nothing to do with sexism issues…

One of the definitions of chauvinism is “a prejudiced belief in the superiority of ones gender, class or group”, so yes, chauvinism has to do with sexual issues. Ted’s a jerk, pure and simple. And I agree that courtesy has nothing to do with chauvinism. However, it has a lot to do with attitude. Some men are genuinely courteous and thoughtful. Others do it because they think women are too weak/stupid/emotional/whatever to do things for themselves.

A lady tried to refuse to get on a bus before me. “Lady, if I get on and sit first, I’ll just have to get up to offer you my seat.” She smiled and got on first.

Chauvinism or respect? Is it wrong that daddy taught me to rise when a lady entered the room? Perhaps I should force a mother to sit four aisles apart from her daughter. The days of Gloria and Betty are over thank God. Been years since I’ve been insulted by some FemiNazi avoiding the door I was holding to make a statement of her independence.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

\\//_

Amen.

I have no problem with men being helpful either out of respect or because they were there seconds first (as in holding a door open) I do have a problem with attitudes like Ted’s; and John is doing nothing to support his wife, and lots to facilitate Ted’s horrible attitude. Even though this strip is decades old there are still momma’s today who like their boys to be “manly men” and not help out around the house. Glad my MIL is was never among those!

I agree with Kaytebb and ejcapulet. I actually open doors for a lot of people, men and women alike. I find it gives a good vibe to all when I do something so simple to help someone else’s day go better. :)

I’m with ejcapulet. Letting a door slam in anybody’s face is rude.

The rabid feminists have it all wrong. What we should be doing is resurrecting the old fashioned manners and having both genders practice it to everybody in the interests of consideration and courtesy.

I see nothing wrong letting an older gentleman have my seat. Or holding the elevator door for someone running a few seconds behind me. Or lifting a large water bottle into the cart for a pregnant lady at the grocery store.

The feminist said: “Are you offering me that seat because I am a lady?” And the man said: “No Ma’am, Its because I am a gentleman.”

Miss Manners has an excellent comment on how manners should evolve: rather than judging our behaviour solely on the gender of the other person, judge it on consideration. So if you already have the door open, of course you hold it open for someone else, whoever they are; if you’re sitting on a bus, and someone else looks like they could use a seat more than you, you offer it to them. That way everyone can offer courtesy and kindness to just about everyone else, and we’ll all feel a lot better about life.

Probably too simple to catch on ;-)

When I get on the bus, I often let the ladies first. Some times, there’s an ignorant man in front of me, so I say very loudly “Ladies first”, and kind of wave my arm. The guys don’t like it, the women do, and the driver almost always laughs.

Dudes, there’s a difference between holding the door for someone (which I do for anyone approaching), and saying, “The little woman, I think I’ll keep her.”

At this point, John, you’re more of a bore.

Yes, manners apply to all. I’m a woman and I’ve given up my seat to the elderly who need it more than I do (also women with babies or toddlers). When I first moved to Atlanta, people were extremely considerate to the point I thought it was a joke. It’s gone downhill some, but still is light years better than DC where I’m originally from. Now that’s a brutal town…

p.s. See you all in 2 weeks – I’m going out of town with no internet access.

Have a good time wherever you end up lightenup!!! :)

Manners are taught when we are young. I am 71 use a walker now and am slower then just about everyone. Even though there are lots people who hold doors open for me you would not believe how many cut in front of me and then let the door slam in my face. I cringe to think of how their children will act when they are older. Thank god for automatic doors:-)

I consider myself a feminist. That said, I adore it when my boyfriend opens doors for me. Or when we’re watching football with his buddies, and the men make sure I have a good chair. I know people say Southern men are sexist, but most of the ones I know manage to respect the independence and abilities of women while still maintaining their old-fashioned manners. It’s unbelievably charming!

Recently, I was behind a young man and his girl friend, going through a door. He didn’t hold the door for her and let it almost smack her in the face. I instinctively put my arm out to stop the door, and she seemed very embarrassed that I witnessed it. No, he wasn’t mad at her, just rude. And no, she didn’t thank me–just rude. Is that what equality between the sexes is?

I live in a suburb of Tulsa, and it is almost automatic that a man will open a door (at a business, of course) for a woman he doesn’t know or even a man who is carrying something bulky. And almost everyone (regardless of sex or age) will hold open a door for anyone else (regardless of sex or age). It’s a common courtesy here. Oh, and it’s also not out of the ordinary to greet a stranger anywhere if you happen to make eye-contact with them (again, regardless of sex or age).

Once again, I think folks here are viewing yesterday’s comics through the lenses of today’s glasses. In the 1970s-early 80s, there was a particularly strident strain of feminism - virtually extinct nowadays, thank goodness - which held many/most common courtesies extended by gentlemen toward ladies (such as opening doors) were actually acts of condescension, and it was apparently the feminist’s duty to promptly conduct a re-education class for the offender on the spot.

Being raised good and Southern, I - of course - was on the receiving end of more than one such lecture. My standard response quickly became, “I beg your pardon, ma’am/miss. My parents raised me to always hold the door for a lady. My apologies for the confusion.”

Sometimes it took them all the way to the elevators inside before they figured that one out. :)

Time to play flag the spammer.

I finally get a chance to play. Usually the game’s already over by the time I check the comics ;)

As many have already said, courtesy should have nothing to do with gender. The whole world would be a better place if everyone just showed a little kindness or helped someone, even in some little way, every day.

If I’m going through a door and there is anyone behind me, I’ll hold it for them, even if I have to wait a few seconds for them to catch up. If someone has emptied their cart in the parking lot and I’m already on my way to the cart return, I’ll offer to take their cart too (why not, I’m already heading there). If someone drops something and I’m closer to it, I pick it up for them.

Notice that I’ve not used a gender specific pronoun in this entire post.

Ted is a boorish throwback who refused to grow, but why isn’t the other guy taking his wife’s side? I would have thought he knew better.

STEVE MARTIN Said it best WOMAN SHOULD BE PLACED HIGH ON A PEDESTAL. SO EVERY MAN CAN LOOK UP HER SKIRT. Not realy I respect ALL WOMAN But, that is so funny!

Because John has often felt the same way himself. As NashvilleMac pointed out, at the original time of this story arc (late 70s - early 80s), many a strident feminist would deliver a lecture on the spot on the evils of treating a woman differently from a man in terms of social behaviors to any man who dared to follow his original training of “Ladies first.” It really was a time when men were damned if they did, and damned if they didn’t.

And while I commend your attempt to be politically correct, Magasek, you’ve done so at the cost of the English language. Indefinite antecedent pronouns (“someone,” “anyone”) are ALWAYS singular, and therefore require singular verbs and subject/object pronouns in the dependent clauses that follow them (“he,” “she,” “him,” “his,” and “her”), not “they, their,” or “them.”

If you really want to avoid being gender-specific without sacrificing the rules of grammar to do so, use “he or she,” “his or her,” or “him or her” when you are relating dependent clauses back to an indefinite antecedent. That way, both you and the language win. :)

LOL. I love that, Foxtrot.

N7326 Foxtrot said, about 5 hours ago

The feminist said: “Are you offering me that seat because I am a lady?” And the man said: “No Ma’am, Its because I am a gentleman.”

Well said! It makes it very difficult for a man to be a gentleman when the women refuse to act like a lady. While I agree that women are capable, it doesn’t mean that they can’t accept kindness and respect. I love that my husband is teaching my son this. While he may go in the house a minute or 2 before me, he always returns to hold the door open for me as a sign of respect and consideration.

And yes, that respect should go both ways, and to others as well. Being a female I appreciate a man allowing me a seat on a bus, but i will also give up my seat for a mother with child, an expectant mother, the elderly, and even for a man who is injured or in some way seems to need the seat more than I do.

Right on legaleagle48. I like your post.

What I particularly dislike is when I hold the door open for a man and he refuses to pass through it but instead puts his hand on the door at the top, obliging me to duck under his arm to go through ahead of him. That’s not courtesy. (Yes, I am fairly short).

Ted is such a bloody hypocite with his stupid chauvinism! I would kick his balls hard enough. Sheeshhh!

I did the same thing like you guys mentioned about opening the door for others to come in respectively. They did the same thing when I comes in, too. Respect each others as human being equally. If one person doesn’t do anything to respect other person, I will not respect that person anyway.

My Grandmother taught me to always be courteous and polite. She said, “It costs you nothing and makes you feel good.”

I’m always flattered when a guy opens the door for me or offers me a seat.

And a**holes if you don’t get it!

Kaytebb, cdward and many others – exactly!!

All women ever really wanted was to be treated the same as you would treat anyone else – you hold the door open for someone to show respect. What’s so hard about that – and as one of those “rabid feminazis” of whatever era we’re talking about here, I don’t know anyone who has ever objected to be treated with respect.

@legaleagle48: You are correct, of course. It is unfortunate that the English language does not include a gender-neutral pronoun. Such a thing would certainly provide for a more succinct manner in which one could express oneself as it would eliminate the necessity of the rather cumbersome “him or her” or “he or she” constructs.