Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for August 05, 2015

I was trying to get out of the way!

Tell that to my body that just turned 70. Metabolism is taking a left turn.

I remember when it was 30.

Smoking a cigar in a courtroom???

Smoking cigars anywhere is okay in Shoe-ville.

One of our local politicians was caught doing 99. His comment—“Nuts! I was hoping for 100.”

70 the new 50 ? DEFINITELY !!

Your Honor, I noticed that the cop that pulled me over was also doing 70.

I just tell the naysayers, “I’ve been 19 longer’n you’ve been alive”. Works every time. 8^)

The OLD 50 was no great thing, so I’m not too impressed with the new 70.

let me know if that defense works. I may need to use it

What not to say when pulled over by a cop:

I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Are You Andy or Barney?

Is it true that guys become cops because they can’t work at McDonald’s?

You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

If you’d try the stuff I just had, you wouldn’t be so damn uptight.

Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.