Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for September 04, 2015

As they do every season, the Milford football teams starts the year with a rousing version of The Village People’s “YMCA.”

The kid yelling at Dory looks like he can use that knee brace more than the guy behind him.

I’m sitting around drinking Johnny Walker Red, living in regret that I missed out on the big one by not opening a wide wristband outlet store in Milford years ago.

What, exactly, is the “homecoming in the air?” Isn’t it when the sad-eyed lady reaches her destination? And what is that thing outside the window? It looks like one of the pyramids or a stack from a nuclear reactor. Maybe the ’Larks will have a road game in Egypt or Chernobyl.

My guess: The one that got away from Marty had a baby and she is all grown up and coming back to meet Daddy. Either that or she is one of the Thorp kids coming back from a few years in the Youth Correction Facility.

I think I’ve got this. The girl in P1 is posing as Marty’s unknown daughter from a drunken one night stand during a long ago spring break.

Well, we might be starting football in another month or 2. And don’t tell me, let me guess. They call him "Hunky Dory, right?

I went to high school with a kid called Dory. Short for Dorothy.

In all reality , how many kids say Pipe Down rather than Shut the F**k Up at football practice ?

In all reality , the mystery woman travels back in time via TWA to Milford’s Homecoming 1968 where as an under aged cheerleader she had a torrid rommance with Marty before he left for Vietnam .

They should have drawn William Shatner sitting out on the wing of the plane.(Twilight Zone reference)

Homecoming? The season hasn’t even started yet.

In the air: a woman with hair almost as unbecoming as Boo

…wish I could take credit for the article in the Onion mentioned yesterday, gents, but it did get me thinking that we are oh-so-close to the season’s first gratuitous shower reference…wonder which of the team has inherited the Jon Pascoe memorial soap-on-a-rope?

Since no one’s recognized her yet – the woman is Holly, whose affections Marty and Gil vied for about 45 years ago. She was the Milford HS drama teacher who left to pursue and acting career in Hollywood and became a big star. She returned to Milford a couple times after that but I don’t think she’s been seen in the strip since about 1970.

Maybe this means Gil will be renewing his private pilot’s license as well. Stories about him renting a small plane and winging off somewhere were pretty common back when Holly was a main character in the strip.

So is this lady supposed to be the one that got away from Marty? But it’s not Peaches, correct? Or is it an ex-student? Speaking of getting away, don’t let today’s Mopped Up Thorp get away from you.

I’m betting the returning brunette is Holly Dobbs, who was initially interested in Gil but then got together briefly with Marty before she left Milford for Hollywood some 40 years ago. “Dream On Dream On Teenage Queen … Saddest Girl You’ve Ever Seen”

Leavin’ on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be home again….

In all reality , Holly returns to Milfotd to film the new reality show Homewreckers where exgirlfriends return to breakup marriages .