Jon: The world could use more rainbows and butterflies.
Garfield: Jon was under the sink fixing a leak...
Jon: And hopping bunnies.
Garfield: When Odie jumped on him...
Jon: Real cute ones!
Garfield: And that's how he got the concussion.
This is like that old Urban Legend, one of the funniest tellings is this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife’s wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. “Ed! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it.” You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter- patter). “Reset it yourself!” “I am scared!” She pleaded. “What if it starts going and sucks me in?” (Pause) “C’mon, it’ll only take a second.” So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn’t a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a “fight or flight” syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the “flight” option. Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” If they had only known.
A R V reader over 8 years ago
Concussion? I thought it was Jon being himself again.
Templo S.U.D. over 8 years ago
Would make an interesting GMG.
Dobie Takahama over 8 years ago
I know the perfect cute bunny for you! His name is Bonnie!
Alphaomega over 8 years ago
You could never hit that guy in the head enough to fix what he’s got!
Say What? Premium Member over 8 years ago
I thought Jon had too many whiffs of the Drano stored under the sink.
codycab over 8 years ago
How can you tell if he’s got a concussion?
Wren Fahel over 8 years ago
I dunno…I think the world could use more rainbows, butterflies & bunnies…
nyssawho13 over 8 years ago
And here I was thinking Garfield added something to Jon’s morning cup of coffee!
TSAlleycat Premium Member over 8 years ago
This’ll make a great “Garfield Minus Garfield”
tripwire45 over 8 years ago
You have to stab Deadpool in the side of the head to get this effect from him.
dustspecks Premium Member over 8 years ago
I could use a concussion myself.
pickled-onions over 8 years ago
I agree with Jon
ChessPirate over 8 years ago
This is like that old Urban Legend, one of the funniest tellings is this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife’s wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. “Ed! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it.” You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter- patter). “Reset it yourself!” “I am scared!” She pleaded. “What if it starts going and sucks me in?” (Pause) “C’mon, it’ll only take a second.” So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn’t a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a “fight or flight” syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the “flight” option. Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” If they had only known.
Number Three over 8 years ago
Get Well Soon, Jon.
If that’s possible.
xxx
komickat over 8 years ago
That explains EVERYTHING XDD lol
Marathon Zack over 8 years ago
I agree with Jon, concussion or not.
bookworm0812 over 8 years ago
I’m cool with what Jon’s saying. Especially about the butterflies!
Thomas & Tifffany Connolly over 8 years ago
So, just another day. Right?
Happy, happy, happy!!! Premium Member over 8 years ago
BUNNY!
Joken' over 8 years ago
No, Garfield hit him with a pipe wrench!
Nermal From Garfield /srs about 1 year ago
curse you odie, CURSE YOU!! /j