Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 10, 2016

Good thing my car doesn’t have that mechanism or my it would beat me with a tire iron.

I think cars should be programmed to roll up the windows and lock the doors if the driver starts smoking. Why should the rest of us have to put up with it?

Technology. Pft.

Well, Goat’s car ain’t Knight Industries Two Thousand nor Knight Automated Roving Robot.

The fourth time it really gets nasty.

I think the car is pressing your buttons, Paris…

If you didn’t close the car door all the way, my friend’s car used to say “the door is ajar — the door is ajar”. This would confuse us, because we were sure that the door was, in fact, a door, and not a jar at all.

For the fourth time, the car starts itself and runs you down.

What happens if it is a Croc car and you push the button for a 4th time ? Would you get a Croc of …………………? Just saying :-)

I always hope to see someone’s car explode when pressing their remote buttons.

My idea for an auto safety device would be something that hooks up to the turn signal. If the signal stays on continuously for five full minutes, the car will make the turn being signalled. Even if it’s going over a bridge at the time. (The five minutes grace period is to allow for long waits at stoplights.)

That car speaks the truth.

I’m one of the few guys who realizes he shouldn’t drive. Only time I tried I was so nervous I got a speeding ticket…& that was on my written exam!!

I leave the house and don’t remember if I shut the garage door and go back and check then I don’t remember if I checked and go back again. This has happened a couple of times.

One time, I sat in the big Wall*Store parking lot while my Mrs. went in. I started timing the BEEPS and HONKS of people locking and un-locking their cars. I never got more than 30 sec. between them.

My wife will ask, “Did you lock the car? I didn’t hear it beep.” I explain— again!— about only beeping the second time. She does this repeatedly. We’ve owned the car four years.

If you kept pressing it would simply disallow you from using the remote, because it might be a burglar trying to find the car matching the keys.

Uh-oh, it’s time for Steph’s good old friend, the comic censor!

my remote allows me to either sound a beep on the second lockup push or not – i choose the or not – so i can push the lockup as many times as i want and the car doesn’t even whimper :) -i do like to push the alarm button on occasion just to see if it works – it does – gets the attention of a couple people

@F6F5Hellcat:Answered you on yesterday’s strip.

Is the car’s name Christine?

my Italian made car does the same thing….except on the third time he threatens me saying “Ill be sleeping with the fishes soon”. I have heard of people who pressed 4th time…they were never heard from again

Had a good friend who didn’t drive that used to go to events with me. She knew I hated smoking. She lit up one time in my van and that was the last time she was invited to go anywhere with me. My van, my asthma, my choice.

lol *Hug*’z Rat#ILoveSeeingAScientificMindAtWork

The car has been hanging around rat toolong

yes, yes it could

the 4th time, the car shoots out a black paint ball at you, and you are forced to wear your ocd as a mark of shame

This gave me the biggest smile today!

xxx

Haha, Ommmygosh, I push it about 4 times myself.

@ebsan—No, I’m not. But that doesn’t stop people from getting a big bang out of my theories!

This would seem to be a good time to adhere to the old “three strikes and you’re out” rule. Don’t tempt the fateful four!

4Th TIME 4TH TIME 5TH TIME 6TH TIME SHOW ME oops caps was on well I’m 2 lazy to write that over again

I always press it enough times to be mistaken for the alarm going off. Just to be sure.

If you press it a fourth time, the car spontaneously discombobulates due to the overwhelming pressure of an anal retentive nerd.

How about a car yelling “Hey, you forgot your keys you stupid twit!”. Or “Are you actually leaving your pet in here!?!”