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Itâs as if Thick asked a question, then mentally responded to Mrs. DâBâs answer BEFORE SHE SPOKE IT.
The sequence should have been:
Panel 1: Mrs. DâB- âMy husband did withdraw a lot of money in cash. Large bills.â
Panel 2: Tracy - âThousand dollar bills, right?â
Panel 3: Tracyâs thought balloon: âJust like that homeless man in the newspaper.â
But what do I know? Iâve never been published; my fiction wasnât âgood enough.â
Then I have to visit this site and see a story that wouldnât even pass muster with a ten-year-old (excluding Simon Penn, of course). I could write better stuff drunk, high on airplane glue, while suffering from a severe head wound.
And speaking of repeating things ad nauseam, wasnât the withdrawal business already covered? Itâs like this strip is trapped in a revolving door, spinning around, the same scenes come back again and again.
Panel-Panner, the withdrawal came up several Ice Ages ago, and got skipped over even though both Thick and the Widow thought it was strange.
At the time Thick should have asked things like âDid you withdraw this money as a ransom payment? Did kidnappers tell you to pay up and keep the authorities out of it?â
He should still ask that. And Thick should not assume that the thousand dollar bills were part of the withdrawal; he should also ask if Dâuncecap had any K-notes, say in a wall safe or as part of a currency collection. But first he should talk to Dâeadguyâs accountants about the money. He just might stumble over some clues before they end up in the Daily Fishwrapper.
Incidentally, does anyone think this Slimecropper tip looks familiar?
Yesterdayâs strip had a secret coded message embedded in the newspaper: âHMFTL VCLEX ELST OMSAN AUMNS HELRE VEL YPLPR MOKAREEA HCARâ.
It is from the Illuminati, who are actually behind this evil comic strip. I have successfully decoded the message using my Dick Tracy decoder ring. It says: âAlways drink Ovaltine!â
Nothing ha$ made mu¢h ¢ent$ lately in thi$ $trip $o that i$ why we are dealing with $1000.00 bill$ I $uppo$e. A penny for your thought$ wouldnât help Mr. Lo¢her in this ar¢ either.
Good point, Flight Suit. In the real world it could have been an electronic transaction. In fact thereâs no alternative; the typical bank doesnât keep that much physical currency on hand. And how else could Homeless Guy have used his electric whizzbang to transfer cash to the senator? Alas, this is Thickworld, and Nutless Nodick wonât even ask how the widow knew about the money when she said her husband never discussed business with her.
Rightwingmoron, I just figured it out! The SEC, FTC, FBI and EIEIO hired Barb Els, now sadly worn down by steroid abuse, to portray Mrs. Dâisappearedguy. Her assignment is to keep Thick out of the way while they conduct the real criminal investigation.
Isnât it more than a little strange that the âface to faceâ question Tracy asks Mrs. DâBuckworth today in panel 1, is the same Question asked of her over the âtelephoneâ yesterday (?)
Oh Dickie, you silly twit
You have no detective skills, not one wit
All this was laid out long before
Deep into senility you sink, more and more
The bank, dear Tracy, about the money you must ask
Or would that be too daunting of a task
The money, in volume it would fill 8.4 cubic feet
And weigh 204 pounds, that would look really neat
Another little thing that I wish to bring to light
They record the serial numbers, you know they just might
So check the bills against the numbers
If you can waken from your slumbers
Sue Doko, have you forgotten her
You worthless misbegotten son of a cur
TMS is the one to blame
For running stories that are this lame
Can the Tracy strip be turned around
If new artists/writers, they are found
Or is it now in its dying throes
Its bones to be picked over by the carrion crows.
Thanks, Wonder Warthog! Your works are always a pleasure to read.
And I think the strip could be turned aroundâin fact I think this Dâemented story could be saved, if it came into the twenty-first century. Like this:
We confirm that D-cubed took the money before he vanished. Next, we get a call from the ME who says that the dead man is not D-cubed; âheâ has been identified as a woman named Ginny Pigge, an Alzheimerâs patient who volunteered for experimental stem-cell treatment. Her brain was injected with stem cells that caused the growth of new neurons. (âShe was so decayed we couldnât tell she was a she,â the abashed ME tells DT.)
We next learn that the experiments were funded by D-cubed. It turns out he was developing Alzheimerâs and was rightly terrified of it (my dad and grandmother faded out with it). And D-cubed, having a huge ego, put a nasty twist on the experiment: he had the experimental subjects injected with stem cells cultured from his own body. As their minds regenerated, their neural pathways developed along the same lines as those of the young D-cubed. Ginny Pig became so much like D-cubed that she even got a tattoo like his.
Satisfied that the therapy worked, D-cubed had it tried on himself. His brain also regenerated . . . to become like his younger, idealistic self. Horrified at finding himself a ruthless tycoon, he goes underground in an effort to both destroy his equally-nasty enemies at Weâre-Lyinâ-terprises and to reward any act of good he sees. Heâs aided by Sue Doko, who has fallen in love with his renewed self.
Of course he still has enemies at Weâre-Lyinâ, and theyâre horrified that he has the wealth and will to take them out. So they now send gunsels to abduct Mrs. D, to force D-cubed into surrender. Itâs now up to DT to rescue her, aided by some of D-cubed clever anti-burglar inventions in the Mighty Morphinâ Power Mansion. DT gets in a shootout, bullets follow trajectories recognized by Euclid and Newton, and in the end DT is left to ponder the legality and morality of D-cubedâs experiments.
Doofus Twacy, of course, will decide that the way to draw D-cubed into the open is by reading the newspapers.
Panel-Panner, maybe Doofus is turning into Lincoln Powell, the telepathic detective from Alfred Besterâs âThe Demolished Man.â Powell chased down Ben Reich, a wealthy industrialist who thought he had committed the perfect murder. Maybe thatâs why Nutless Nodick went to the mansionâin Besterâs story the espers could only read a mind when they were face-to-face with a person.
In Besterâs story, Ben Reich murdered a fellow industrialist named â DâCourtney. Reich did it out of passion, subconsciously realizing that DâCourtney was his long-lost father ⌠who appeared in his nightmares as The Man With No Face. Maybe Dâeranged has a similar passionate relationship with someone at Weâre-Lyin-twerprises.
At least we have Gouldâs old comics to read as this is becoming more and more painful to read. I have seen bad fanfics better than this. Welcome to the Adventures of Defective Dick Tracy. Ugh.
A few days ago I mentioned that the last $1,000 bill was produced in 1934, and as RWM posted, there are enough left that he could have converted his withdrawal into $1,000 bills, although he likely would have had to pay more than face value for them.
BUT HE COULDNâT HAVE WITHDRAWN THEM FROM A BANK THAT WAY!!! Because they are all in the hands of collectors, not sitting in a bank!!
Why doesnât Locher just say 3D went to the bank and withdrew his fortune in gold Spanish Doubloons? It would make as much sense!
yeah yeah, rich guy disappears, pretends to be bum, gives out money. The real mystery remains why TMS continues to bother publishing this strip as it is.
At least I know why Macy âconvenientlyâ drops in on Penny day after day, covering stuff that she told him back in August. Macyâs definitely got his antenna up (or, whatever). Never one to waste time, heâs gotta score before Tess gets her antenna up.
neonleon59, the real oddity about that right hand is that isnât attached to Thickâs left arm, itâs growing out of the left side of his neck. Funny how people in this strip have become so anatomically incorrect, isnât it? I blame the Wrist Geenee and its forgotten power to read DNA. It obviously works by scanning people with some mysterious radiation that alters DNA. Looks like Doofus has scanned himself a few times. They should have let the FDA check it out before it went into service. Granted that a proper study of its risks would have delayed putting the DNA gizmo into service by a few years, but so what? It takes Thick that long to solve a case anyway.
Assuming that there were several hundred G notes, one asks, since they were used only in inter-bank transactions, were there ever that many in circulation in the first place?
Canât wait for Thickâs next deduction. âD-cubed was robbed and killed, and his murderer is handing out the money! When we find the man with the money weâll arrest him!â
Makes me hope Homeless Guy is D-cubed, just so I can see how Nutless Nodick charges him with his own murder.
Thick? D-cubed canât possibly haul around all that money. Us readers have seen someone hand him cash, too. So have the widow and Miss-Remember-Me-Iâm-Sue-Doko followed, and see which of them visits the local skid row.
The headline on the Daily Dilly-Dally reads âAnother GREAT All-New Dick Tracy comic strip vanished today!â
The article said âIt was replaced by garbage from some Fully Untalented Nitwit who snuck into the offices of TMS!
âBe back here tomorrow if you love todayâs replacement of the all-new Dick Tracy comic strip with more of Locherâs India-ink disasters and you can have a good time wondering what he uses for brains and how further he can take this strip from anything that resembles fun and adventures.
Most of us think it would be Great if Locher took it and Stuffed it!
Almost anyone here could write a better strip. Bill Thom;psonâs idea was great!
Simon Penn sounds like a spammer, selling Dick Tracy rather than jeans or shoes. I wonder if he (or his creator, ever read the other comments.
margueritem over 14 years ago
Whoa! Coincidence? I think notâŚ
Panel-Panner over 14 years ago
Todayâs strip doesnât make any sense!
Itâs as if Thick asked a question, then mentally responded to Mrs. DâBâs answer BEFORE SHE SPOKE IT.
The sequence should have been:
Panel 1: Mrs. DâB- âMy husband did withdraw a lot of money in cash. Large bills.â
Panel 2: Tracy - âThousand dollar bills, right?â
Panel 3: Tracyâs thought balloon: âJust like that homeless man in the newspaper.â
But what do I know? Iâve never been published; my fiction wasnât âgood enough.â
Then I have to visit this site and see a story that wouldnât even pass muster with a ten-year-old (excluding Simon Penn, of course). I could write better stuff drunk, high on airplane glue, while suffering from a severe head wound.
Panel-Panner over 14 years ago
And speaking of repeating things ad nauseam, wasnât the withdrawal business already covered? Itâs like this strip is trapped in a revolving door, spinning around, the same scenes come back again and again.
FLIGHT SUIT over 14 years ago
Tracy asks, ââŚand it was all in cash?â
As opposed to what? How else could you withdraw money?
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Panel-Panner, the withdrawal came up several Ice Ages ago, and got skipped over even though both Thick and the Widow thought it was strange.
At the time Thick should have asked things like âDid you withdraw this money as a ransom payment? Did kidnappers tell you to pay up and keep the authorities out of it?â
He should still ask that. And Thick should not assume that the thousand dollar bills were part of the withdrawal; he should also ask if Dâuncecap had any K-notes, say in a wall safe or as part of a currency collection. But first he should talk to Dâeadguyâs accountants about the money. He just might stumble over some clues before they end up in the Daily Fishwrapper.
Incidentally, does anyone think this Slimecropper tip looks familiar?
http://www.gocomics.com/dicktracy/2005/07/31
Steve Bartholomew over 14 years ago
Yesterdayâs strip had a secret coded message embedded in the newspaper: âHMFTL VCLEX ELST OMSAN AUMNS HELRE VEL YPLPR MOKAREEA HCARâ.
It is from the Illuminati, who are actually behind this evil comic strip. I have successfully decoded the message using my Dick Tracy decoder ring. It says: âAlways drink Ovaltine!â
Fusnr over 14 years ago
Nothing ha$ made mu¢h ¢ent$ lately in thi$ $trip $o that i$ why we are dealing with $1000.00 bill$ I $uppo$e. A penny for your thought$ wouldnât help Mr. Lo¢her in this ar¢ either.
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Good point, Flight Suit. In the real world it could have been an electronic transaction. In fact thereâs no alternative; the typical bank doesnât keep that much physical currency on hand. And how else could Homeless Guy have used his electric whizzbang to transfer cash to the senator? Alas, this is Thickworld, and Nutless Nodick wonât even ask how the widow knew about the money when she said her husband never discussed business with her.
Rightwingmoron, I just figured it out! The SEC, FTC, FBI and EIEIO hired Barb Els, now sadly worn down by steroid abuse, to portray Mrs. Dâisappearedguy. Her assignment is to keep Thick out of the way while they conduct the real criminal investigation.
Fusnr over 14 years ago
Thatâs what Tracy needs, Ovaltine . I drink 2 12 oz glasses a day and come up with better dumb ideas then he ever thought of.
Fusnr over 14 years ago
I think thaty house is shrinking in width and going higher up the roof.
sydney over 14 years ago
Thatâs Dashiel Hammetâs house for the Thin Man !
sydney over 14 years ago
Isnât it more than a little strange that the âface to faceâ question Tracy asks Mrs. DâBuckworth today in panel 1, is the same Question asked of her over the âtelephoneâ yesterday (?)
Why visit the home to ask the same question ?
wndrwrthg over 14 years ago
Oh Dickie, you silly twit You have no detective skills, not one wit All this was laid out long before Deep into senility you sink, more and more The bank, dear Tracy, about the money you must ask Or would that be too daunting of a task The money, in volume it would fill 8.4 cubic feet And weigh 204 pounds, that would look really neat Another little thing that I wish to bring to light They record the serial numbers, you know they just might So check the bills against the numbers If you can waken from your slumbers Sue Doko, have you forgotten her You worthless misbegotten son of a cur TMS is the one to blame For running stories that are this lame Can the Tracy strip be turned around If new artists/writers, they are found Or is it now in its dying throes Its bones to be picked over by the carrion crows.
Bill Thompson, great one yesterday.
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Thanks, Wonder Warthog! Your works are always a pleasure to read.
And I think the strip could be turned aroundâin fact I think this Dâemented story could be saved, if it came into the twenty-first century. Like this:
We confirm that D-cubed took the money before he vanished. Next, we get a call from the ME who says that the dead man is not D-cubed; âheâ has been identified as a woman named Ginny Pigge, an Alzheimerâs patient who volunteered for experimental stem-cell treatment. Her brain was injected with stem cells that caused the growth of new neurons. (âShe was so decayed we couldnât tell she was a she,â the abashed ME tells DT.)
We next learn that the experiments were funded by D-cubed. It turns out he was developing Alzheimerâs and was rightly terrified of it (my dad and grandmother faded out with it). And D-cubed, having a huge ego, put a nasty twist on the experiment: he had the experimental subjects injected with stem cells cultured from his own body. As their minds regenerated, their neural pathways developed along the same lines as those of the young D-cubed. Ginny Pig became so much like D-cubed that she even got a tattoo like his.
Satisfied that the therapy worked, D-cubed had it tried on himself. His brain also regenerated . . . to become like his younger, idealistic self. Horrified at finding himself a ruthless tycoon, he goes underground in an effort to both destroy his equally-nasty enemies at Weâre-Lyinâ-terprises and to reward any act of good he sees. Heâs aided by Sue Doko, who has fallen in love with his renewed self.
Of course he still has enemies at Weâre-Lyinâ, and theyâre horrified that he has the wealth and will to take them out. So they now send gunsels to abduct Mrs. D, to force D-cubed into surrender. Itâs now up to DT to rescue her, aided by some of D-cubed clever anti-burglar inventions in the Mighty Morphinâ Power Mansion. DT gets in a shootout, bullets follow trajectories recognized by Euclid and Newton, and in the end DT is left to ponder the legality and morality of D-cubedâs experiments.
Doofus Twacy, of course, will decide that the way to draw D-cubed into the open is by reading the newspapers.
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Panel-Panner, maybe Doofus is turning into Lincoln Powell, the telepathic detective from Alfred Besterâs âThe Demolished Man.â Powell chased down Ben Reich, a wealthy industrialist who thought he had committed the perfect murder. Maybe thatâs why Nutless Nodick went to the mansionâin Besterâs story the espers could only read a mind when they were face-to-face with a person.
In Besterâs story, Ben Reich murdered a fellow industrialist named â DâCourtney. Reich did it out of passion, subconsciously realizing that DâCourtney was his long-lost father ⌠who appeared in his nightmares as The Man With No Face. Maybe Dâeranged has a similar passionate relationship with someone at Weâre-Lyin-twerprises.
Maximara over 14 years ago
At least we have Gouldâs old comics to read as this is becoming more and more painful to read. I have seen bad fanfics better than this. Welcome to the Adventures of Defective Dick Tracy. Ugh.
veldy over 14 years ago
My Bank allows me to make withdrawls in chickens and beaver pelts
neonleon59 over 14 years ago
BillThompson said, ââŚIncidentally, does anyone think this Slimecropper tip looks familiar?â
http://www.gocomics.com/dicktracy/2005/07/31
OK, Bill, that creeped me out. In Panel 2 of that strip, Tracy has A RIGHT HAND ON THE END OF HIS LEFT ARM.
Proof that the unacceptably inane artwork that is thrust upon us these days is nothing new.
steveyorkdesigns over 14 years ago
Why does Tracy shout when he thinks?
puddleglum1066 over 14 years ago
I am still trying to figure out how (never mind why) Tracy seems to have removed his coat, tie and shirt between the first and second panels.
Dr. Midnight over 14 years ago
A few days ago I mentioned that the last $1,000 bill was produced in 1934, and as RWM posted, there are enough left that he could have converted his withdrawal into $1,000 bills, although he likely would have had to pay more than face value for them.
BUT HE COULDNâT HAVE WITHDRAWN THEM FROM A BANK THAT WAY!!! Because they are all in the hands of collectors, not sitting in a bank!!
Why doesnât Locher just say 3D went to the bank and withdrew his fortune in gold Spanish Doubloons? It would make as much sense!
neonleon59 over 14 years ago
Yesterday Dick asked Mrs. DDD the exact same question on the phone.
Sigh.
Groundzero7 over 14 years ago
âAnd was it all in cash?â
âNo,part of it was in food stamps.â
tsouthworth over 14 years ago
Panel-Panner, yes, the withdrawal was mentioned in Dracyâs expert investigation on 8/22 - a month ago!
Moving swiftly onâŚ
jumbobrain over 14 years ago
yeah yeah, rich guy disappears, pretends to be bum, gives out money. The real mystery remains why TMS continues to bother publishing this strip as it is.
CougarAllen over 14 years ago
And did he bandy his money about town in a bullock cart?
-Cougar :{)
Morrow Cummings over 14 years ago
At least I know why Macy âconvenientlyâ drops in on Penny day after day, covering stuff that she told him back in August. Macyâs definitely got his antenna up (or, whatever). Never one to waste time, heâs gotta score before Tess gets her antenna up.
chromosome Premium Member over 14 years ago
This strip is obviously emailed in via a 300 baud modem. Iâve never seen a slower story line.
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
neonleon59, the real oddity about that right hand is that isnât attached to Thickâs left arm, itâs growing out of the left side of his neck. Funny how people in this strip have become so anatomically incorrect, isnât it? I blame the Wrist Geenee and its forgotten power to read DNA. It obviously works by scanning people with some mysterious radiation that alters DNA. Looks like Doofus has scanned himself a few times. They should have let the FDA check it out before it went into service. Granted that a proper study of its risks would have delayed putting the DNA gizmo into service by a few years, but so what? It takes Thick that long to solve a case anyway.
countoftowergrove over 14 years ago
Assuming that there were several hundred G notes, one asks, since they were used only in inter-bank transactions, were there ever that many in circulation in the first place?
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Canât wait for Thickâs next deduction. âD-cubed was robbed and killed, and his murderer is handing out the money! When we find the man with the money weâll arrest him!â
Makes me hope Homeless Guy is D-cubed, just so I can see how Nutless Nodick charges him with his own murder.
Thick? D-cubed canât possibly haul around all that money. Us readers have seen someone hand him cash, too. So have the widow and Miss-Remember-Me-Iâm-Sue-Doko followed, and see which of them visits the local skid row.
trickdacy over 14 years ago
Your prayers have been answered. This is the wave of the future for Dick Tracy Fans: The Dick Tracy Panel Scrambler
http://joshreads.com/images/10/09/Random Dick/comic-scrambler.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/38h36st
Just click the âScrambleâ button to create your own plot twists!
Makes MORE sense than the panels assembled by Locher and Brozman.
SimonPenn over 14 years ago
Another GREAT All-New Dick Tracy comic strip today! FUN!
More fun all-new Dick Tracy comic strips here tomorrow, CHECK OUT THE FUN!
Be back here tomorrow if you love todayâs all-new Dick Tracy comic strip for further fun adventures.
Great Stuff!
If you love todayâs all-new Dick Tracy comic strip, CHECK IT OUT tomorrow for more great comics!
CHECK IT OUT! More Fun Adventures Ahead!
Be sure to be here tomorrow if you love todayâs adventure!!
g6793 over 14 years ago
SimonPennâŚare you for real??!
trekkermint over 14 years ago
i think this guy /\ has a nice template for comments - why read? mad lib it and drink yer oval teen
Bill Thompson over 14 years ago
Always did love Mad-libs, rabbitrose.
The headline on the Daily Dilly-Dally reads âAnother GREAT All-New Dick Tracy comic strip vanished today!â The article said âIt was replaced by garbage from some Fully Untalented Nitwit who snuck into the offices of TMS!
âBe back here tomorrow if you love todayâs replacement of the all-new Dick Tracy comic strip with more of Locherâs India-ink disasters and you can have a good time wondering what he uses for brains and how further he can take this strip from anything that resembles fun and adventures.
Most of us think it would be Great if Locher took it and Stuffed it!
marvee over 14 years ago
Almost anyone here could write a better strip. Bill Thom;psonâs idea was great! Simon Penn sounds like a spammer, selling Dick Tracy rather than jeans or shoes. I wonder if he (or his creator, ever read the other comments.