Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 19, 2017

Just not yellow

MasterCard Moment. PRICELESS

YAY! YAY! YAY! A coloring Day!

Couldn’t afford the colorist again?

The woodland bears will help you to become one with nature. The bipolar bears deliver in 30 minutes or less. The oppidan bears are slashing the prices. And the guru bears teach you the sound of one lip smacking.

My favorite bear story:

The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the ranger’s orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. “They’re a protected species, so we’ve got lots of them, but they’re still dangerous. Don’t approach them under any circumstances. And don’t try to outrun them; they’re faster than you are. And climbing a tree won’t help, either; they’re better at it than you.”

The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.

“Well, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, they’ll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; that’s a sign that they’re around and you might want to leave.”

“What’s scat?” asked the bride.

“Bear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat that’s kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.”

Definition of oppidan

plural -s

1 : a resident of a town : townsman

2 : obsolete

a : an inhabitant of a university town not a member of the university

b : a university student living in the town rather than at a college

3 : a student at Eton College living in a residence owned by the school but situated in the town outside the limits of the original foundation

Thanks, Wiley!

Love the coloring bears! Jus’ love ’em!

some times shoe laces are found in bear scat. a black or brown bear will climb a tree after you. a grizzly will push the tree over… when in grizzly bear country and allowed to carry weapons at work, the preferred choice was a 22 caliber pistol. the thought was to shoot the person next to in the leg and take of running…

G’day. No bears downunder in Aus, mate. (Koalas are not bears). Although … we may have some feral bears that have snuck in somehow.

I colored a polar bear eating vanilla ice cream in a snow storm.

Wiley bears!!! Yay!!!

YAY!! Wiley Bears RULE!!!

Headed downstairs to “borrow” the grandkids crayons, right now !

Well I finished coloring, but now I can’t read the other comics.

Where’s my crayo—- hey, wait a minute! Is this another bear trap?

Three visitors from Europe, a German, a Pole, and a Czech, went hiking in Yellowstone. After a couple of days, some American friends of theirs realized they were missing, and reported it to the park rangers.

Soon the rangers found a camp site which had been torn apart. There were bear tracks all over, which seemed to be from two grizzlies, a male and a female. The bears had gone off in separate directions, so the search party split up.

One half of the party caught up with the female grizzly, who attacked and had to be shot. Cutting her open, they found the remains of the Pole and the German. The other searchers caught up the remaining bear, who also had to be shot. An autopsy on this one revealed what they had expected. The Czech was in the male.

Anybody know how to get crayon off of a monitor?

That’s wiley way to give the colorist a day off.

Wiley draws the best bears!

Eat Mor Chikin

Truly wily these Wiley bears are.

Purple

Yay!! Thanks, Wiley!!

Great bear strip Wiley and, furthermore, truly enhanced by the implication that the bears don’t have to be naturally occurring colors.

I do so love the expressions on the Wiley Bears!