Pickles by Brian Crane for June 28, 2018

I still think Deleyza is like the Alexa in “Thatababy.”

The danger of anthropomorphism is that the device becomes too much like people.

You can turn it on and off by patting it on the . . . oh wait, now it’s accusing me of sexual harassment.

So the computer is a millennial?

I feel that way about Sinatra songs.

I heard a report that one guy walked into the room with his AI thing when nothing else was on and it said, unbidden, “Sometimes I close my eyes, and all I see is death.”

Suffice to say, he was a bit freaked out.

“Hey, ‘Layz, if you’re not doing anything constructive, go in the living room and get my stogie!”

“A.I.” with attitude.

I’d have to fix that machine with a hammer.

My favorite was an old comic—maybe BC—that read “When an eel rushes out and he bites off your snout, that’s a moray.”

When the fish that you spy, sinks its fangs in your thigh, that’s a MORAY.When that thing on the sand, grabs a hold of your hand, that’s a MORAY.

Brian, Opal would never be sitting there with her hands in her lap. Put her knitting in them!

When I told Siri I loved him, he replied, “I’ll bet you say that to all your Apple Products.”

Reminds me of Siri when you ask “her” to divide by zero.

Most of the times, I make it a point to say Thank You to Google whenever she does something for me. That way, if AI ever decides to try to take over the world, hopefully she won’t want to hurt me because she remembered I was nice to her.

I have enough problems relying on my own intelligence without being dependent on AI !

The closest I ever got to having one of these was my wife’s Garmin. The way that thing said “Recalculating” was so annoying and condescending I wanted to toss it into traffic.

I was about 8 or 9 when “That’s Amore” came out. I lived on a farm in SW Ohio, and I never understood what a “big piece a pie” had to do with it.

When you’re down on a dive and feel teeth on your thigh, that’s a moray!

No, no. Being of the elderly persuasion, and male, I should gently remind my device to consider which of us is the being having opposable thumbs and thereby the ability to wield a ball peen hammer, with which the one without such thumbs can be reduced to a pile of plastic, wire, silicon bits. And I just as gently, but firmly, remind said device to think very, very, carefully before answering. Admittedly, it’s a crude tactic but it has worked well for me for several years and a number of otherwise cranky devices.

I’m not thrilled when people speak to me, why on earth would I want a machine to do so?

“Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.♫♪”

I asked Siri if she had a boyfriend, and she said, “Well I did go out with a drone once.”

That Dean Martin song was out at the time future hubby and I decided we loved each other and it became our song.

“When some goon sits close by and then fondles your thigh – that’s immoral.”

That’s so mean! Dean Martin was a good singer :p I’m listening to it right now