Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 11, 2018

You made those monsters.

Insanity is hereditary — parents get it from their children all the time!

Lovable beasties

When I’m invited to step-family get-togethers that sometimes happens after work, I cannot help but — as I call it — “uncle around” with my stepsisters’ children to relieve the stress.

What every parent in those circumstances would say if they were being honest.

My brother-in-law was known for his knack of getting along with kids- any kids. How? He paid attention to them!

If she was smart she’d set them on the Homeowner’s Association. There might be a by-law prohibiting them.

Who says Rat isn’t sensitive, he nailed it.

Surely you’re kidding, neighbour Nancy?! :D

As an uncle it is great to LEAVE after a few hours and find peace and quiet.

If my parents had gone to the trouble to avoid me, I might have actually grown up as a happy child.

In panel two, I was looking for the setup for the pun.

The joys of parenthood fully realized makes see what your parents went through for you, i.e., you should’ve had your little head pinched off way back when.

The blessing/curse, “May you have children just like you”? Tish, tosh. The children I raised are now out on their own in the world, or as I put it, “Aha! Chaos and disorder. My work is done!”

Have children, and the first year and a half you look forward to them walking and talking. Then, for the next 20 years or so, you wish they would just sit down and shut up.

In the words of the immortal Harry Belafonte, “De man smart, but de woman smarter.”

Grandchildren are your reward for not strangling your children.

Children are to be neither seen nor heard!

So halt production at the baby factory.

Well, it’s the only way to get new people. If we didn’t make ’em, the merry-go-round would soon be empty!

My brother once gave me a birthday card that said “Just think. For thousands of years, our ancestors have been fruitful and multiplied just to produce YOU!” Open card. The inside said “Either that, or they just liked to be fruitful and multiply.”

Is this Neighbor Bob’s wife?

Neighbor Nancy is living on the edge, as Rat has so astutely observed. (I don’t blame for wanting a respite from the Unholy Three….)

Now I know why my parents stay at work longer…