Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 23, 2018

You are wrong, Rat; it takes at least two bottles of wine and several shots of tequila.

I’m the exact opposite. When I drink, my actions become extremely conservative because I fear embarrassment when I sober up.

That’s ridiculous — when I’m sober, I’ll do anything.

Rat is a good candidate to die from liver disease.

What was the question?

No!

If you dumped a six-pack of beer into a large bowl, a mouse could swim in it.

Seven beers and a nice comfortable couch.

“Post hoc ergo propter hoc” is one of themost common fallacies.

I love the detail Mr. Pastis puts into his cartoons. The string on the tea bag for instance.

If you drink enough that you can’t move, you won’t be doing dumb things, except for drinking so much that you can’t move.

Alcohol may not be the answer, but it’s undeniably a solution!

Alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems according to Homer Simpson.

A drink in time saves nine :-)

One hundred drunken rats on the wall, one hundred drunken rats, knock one down with a beer bottle and drown, 99 drunken rats on the wall…

Had a friend by the name of Dr. Ink Ing, but some idiot screwed up the punctuation, spacing, and the letter casing.

Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.

“God is great, beer is good, and Rat is crazy!” (Apologies to Billy Currington!)

“I just realized that all the dumb things I’ve ever done have happened after drinking a six-pack of beer …”

… and were preceded by the exclamation, “Hey guys, watch this!”

I thought the ultimate answer is 42…

I will certainly drink to that philosophy, Rat.

24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence?

YOU GO RAT!!

Because being insufficiently comatose causes dumb behavior!

Life Hack No. 1.

The cause of and answer to all my problems.

So that’s why I have such a high level of intelligence. I never knew!

I’ll drink to that.

Always buy at least a 12 pack and a half pint.

wooooooow rat

I don’t get the question, but as always, the answer is 42.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Goat stays away from alcoholic beverages. Rat stays away from non-alcoholic beverages.

Totally different philosophies of life. Which of the two seems happier with his life?

A quote I once read: In defense of alcohol, I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff sober, too.

Can you say “no true scotsman fallacy”

Just remember why intoxication has the word ‘toxic’ in it.