Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 30, 2018

Damn! Back to the drawing board ….

But you can try …

two cups applesauce for every gallon of paint … for that textured look…

Don’t forget to add plenty of cinnamon for a textured look.

I really needed to know this. My life is almost complete. (Tomorrow’s FA will make my day almost complete again. And then the next day, the next day, etc.) And, Teresa, thank you for putting out a new FA every day. I get tired of creators who skip out for days or just stop posting new stuff. (We won’t talk about your 18-month mysterious disappearance or Vlad’s unfortunate demise. I forgave you long ago.)

If a crusty brown base with a crawling fly coating is your desire, then yes, it can be done.

A nit-picking question if there ever was one. Brush it off, applesauce.

Apple core Baltimore, who’s your friend?

That sounds like a challenge. I will now spend the next forty years coming up with a way to turn crab apples into a durable polymer that can be given any color or texture and applied smoothly and easily using a spray device.

Public service announcement, attempting to calm a feverish populace, from the Hayward (CA) News Sentinel, June 22, 1928.

And they said humans would never get to Anaheim.

She builds us up, and then She lets us down. She toys with us. And then, like the goobers we are, we take it sitting down. Sad.

Nor can you paint a house without applesauce so I always keep some in the cupboard.

It would be smooth if brushed or sprayed, but a roller could give it texture.

The painter had made an attempt to brush applesauce onto the wall, but the painter had complained that applesauce was much too runny to apple, oops, the painter meant apply..

You can paint a house with anything you ruddy well please. Did you just assume my sanity?

You could paint a picture of a house with applesauce if you add food colouring.

I have a house with applesauce. I’ve painted it three times, using Sherwin Williams and a roller. I don’t see the problem. Once, my house had a mouse, but I didn’t paint it until I got rid of the mouse. I won’t say how I did that though. I have three cats…

When I was a kid my dad was a paint buyer for Ward’s. A guy sued them because the creosote he bought and used to paint his house smelled bad. His rationale was that there was nothing in the catalogue copy about the odor.

Paint the door black, paint the town red, paint the house applesauce, and if you find you have painted yourself into a corner, rejoice! You have arrived, and Froglandia awaits.

You’d get a house pained with ants.

You can’t applesauce a house with paint, either.

Wrong answer! You can paint a house with applesauce; but it would be a pretty stupid thing to do. Much would drip off; it would attract bugs; and it would start to stink after a while; and, of course, it would not protect the house and its siding….

But go ahead. Be my guest. And if you want a color accent, try using apple butter.

(Lamest house painting scheme ever? —Only in Froglandia!)

A little bit of cinnamon will add to the final touch of the applesauce paint stain..

So the Green Sheet was where the comics were, and there was a guy named Gerald Kloss, who had a column called, Slightly Kloss-Eyed, that also ran in the Green Sheet. Of course, there weren’t any Frog Applesauce in those days. And it was years before that Big Trouble in Little China movie. Aluminum siding was the new thing back then. Or Aluminium, like the Brits would say it. You could go to the chemistry department of the Woolworth’s and buy a jar with a strip of magnesium in it, which would burn like a tiny star when you lit it up. So, anyway, no, there isn’t any applesauce for the pork chops.