When all else fails, use an authoritative resource: The Canadian Veterinary Journal. 2003 Apr; 44(4): 321. Dr. John DelackHow to give a cat a pill:1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.Tie the little !!#@#$%’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
Where’s the green foam…or pink depending on the color of the pill? The “shooter” didn’t work….Pill pockets did work with one of my cats for awhile. For another one, the vet had the med in a liquid form which was the only way any of it was ever going to get into the cat.
Dirty Dragon almost 6 years ago
More like a Heartburn pill Henry… amiright??
mr , b almost 6 years ago
Dr Pol showed after you get it in the mouth Blow air in their face, they swallow it then ducking the air .
Fishenguy Premium Member almost 6 years ago
We wrap a dab of cream cheese (it’s cheap) around the pill. The cats can’t lick it off and they think they’re getting a treat!
jpayne4040 almost 6 years ago
If the green ship guys are there onboard their ship then why don’t they take their cat back?
jpayne4040 almost 6 years ago
The battle is not over until the pill is swallowed!
Kalkkuna almost 6 years ago
Heartworm med – for a cat?
julie almost 6 years ago
I have a pill popper that you just shoot it right down their throat. The tricky part is getting their mouth open without getting bit!
micromos almost 6 years ago
Just wrap it in tuna.
capkidd almost 6 years ago
A suicide pill, a poison dart, a noose, etc. Or tell him to swim across and hopefully the sharks will notice. I feel mean today.
Khatkhattu Premium Member almost 6 years ago
When all else fails, use an authoritative resource: The Canadian Veterinary Journal. 2003 Apr; 44(4): 321. Dr. John DelackHow to give a cat a pill:1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Khatkhattu Premium Member almost 6 years ago
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.Tie the little !!#@#$%’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
SapphireSkies Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Pill Pockets worked with my cat. But they might be hard to find at sea.
pchemcat almost 6 years ago
Yep, that’s a cat for you! Next time, crush up the pill and put it in moist fishy food. The fishy smell covers the smell of the pill.
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member almost 6 years ago
This is the joke that never gets old. Used thousands of times and still always funny.
rgcviper almost 6 years ago
Drat! Duped again …
’Evening, Crew.
lindz.coop Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Where’s the green foam…or pink depending on the color of the pill? The “shooter” didn’t work….Pill pockets did work with one of my cats for awhile. For another one, the vet had the med in a liquid form which was the only way any of it was ever going to get into the cat.