Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 03, 2019

Crunching the numbers on that crunchy substance, I won’t be totally full of it until I’m too dead to do the math.

Fucus is a genus of brown algae found in the intertidal zones of rocky seashores almost throughout the world.

I think highly of rockweeds, he was a great roommate in the day it mattered more to me.

Brown weeds, flatus and excrement are the propaganda of hellish persons.

My Favorite Part™ was Pʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ʙʏ Cᴀʀᴛᴏᴏɴ (although Pʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ʙʏ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋs ᴏɴ Mᴏʀᴀʟs looks like it would be a lot of fun too).

P.S. Speaking of morals (and more specifically the abatement thereof), Attack on Red Cross Nurses would be a good name for the house band at The Museum Club in Flagstaff, AZ.

P.P.S. I challenge anyone of my fellow refugees from whatever-the-opposite-of-lame-is to find more references to the functions of the lower digestive tract in a single cartoon, anywhere, anytime. Good job, Tee! (how do you nominate something for the Guinness Book of World Records?)

Tee – I’ll answer your question (What exactly is fucus?), if you’ll tell me why: (1) it is entitled to a capital letter and I’m not; and (2) I am common in masses of it. 

https://i.postimg.cc/m2kgLfNw/Capture3.png

I think the focus on fucus is a diversion today. And my bladder is just wracked because of it. And, um … cheesy bread for the win!

I thought the world’s largest Christian was that statue in Brazil.

Did anyone bring the gram crackers?

Canaditum Beedom is probobly just flatulance on steroids

Where does Teresa find such wonderful texts?

I’m pretty sure “omninauseant legal and psychiatric sequelae” appears somewhere in my divorce papers.

I was going to make a snarky comment about working for Lawes and Gilbert in their study to find the average amount of solid excrement per day for different age groups until I Googled them … fascinating s**t …!

I am heading towards an area that has a used bookstore. What is the title of this tome Teresa is using? I would love to spend a day or two there just looking for it.

I’m curious what year the excrement data is from. Current estimates are much higher, in the 400-500 gram range, which is more in line with my personal experience.

Ya’ know, the subtitle for Frog Applause could very well be something like, “Pootpourri for the Lame.”

“Pradoxical intention in the treatment of obsessional flatulence ruminations.” A case study of the paradoxical treatment of long standing obsessional ruminations about flatulence in a 33-year old female respiratory therapist is described. Self-reported estimates of the frequency and intensity of flatulence were unaffected by a misconception correction procedure that entailed the presentation of scientific data disconfirming the bases of her concerns. Paradoxical instructions to intensify flatus emissions were then employed. These instructions resulted in a rapid elimination of the obsessional ruminations; this improvement was enhanced at 1 yr follow-up.

One reason I Love Frog Applause is because it really messes with the google algorithm matrix. I am giddily awaiting some funny “did you mean”’s and also ads for instruments of apocalyptic flatulence.

Googling “Poo Propaganda” excretes some interesting results.

Oh, it’s just Deja Poo. What a relief.

Froglandia, a poo-positive environment.

Though I do not doubt its supreme importance, this is research I can do without. Pass me the large red cross-out marker!

Like the lady on the right, I am leaving now….

Fisting isn’t what I would call stimulating. But others do. Once I watched a porn film where they hid the fisting part by blurring. Now to me it was a hilarious existential moment.

I will tell of numbers and poo once I get over the hurricane season. Seems a lodge where couple’s were stranded and had to share one toilet for a duration of a storm in fact indeed. On board was a heavy set guy who could break bowel movement records. Well he did admit this was going to be a long and heavy ride for the young and skinny.

Be on the lookout with heavy shades for a band named, The Electric Outlets.