Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 23, 2019

I maintain that a bear will do that anywhere he wants to.

P. U.

Tiger’s golf game hasn’t been the same since.

But the question remains…where?

Now we know the answer to that question….

They didn’t have Charmin?

This will wipe out another group of friends that you can never visit again!

So that’s why they call them Ursus horribilis!

But what about the pope?

Serves right for you hyoomans who come to our woods and litter your trash all over it!

On a trip to the Appalachian Trail we were told that if you encountered a brown bear, “get big” – line up as best you can on the narrow trail side-by-side and do “YMCA” and you will scare the bear off.

If you encountered a grizzly bear; back away slowly.

The problem is, I can’t tell the difference between a brown bear and a grizzly bear.

….all I did was use the facilities…

SCAT!

answers that question

He was either begging for berries or he left a few of his own berries?

This took me longer than I would like to admit :)

he just went there, just as her. A bear goes into the woods, but it does not mean it has to do anything else

There was no Charmin either

We forgot the Charmin!

Hey, ME too, what a coincidence. Plus after hours of walking, I don’t need MiraLax.

Ruh, roh!

“If you go down in the Woods’ todayYou’re sure of a big surpriseIf you go down in the Woods’ todayYou’d better go in disguise!For every bear that ever there wasWill gather there for certainBecause today’s the day theTeddy Bears have their picnic.”

What, were raised in the woods? You can at least flush when you’re done.

What about Mr.Squirrel?

This too, dear children, is part of the Circle of Life.

Same spelling error you see on about 95% of residential name plaques, etc.

Another classic Parisi