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For years I have been getting snail-mail ads for rest homes, hearing aids, and other reminders of mortality, but the first postcard from a cemetery really startled me.
Little did Ralph know he would die by washing overboard on a cruise he got nagged into by his wife and was buried at sea. His last words were “what about my plot? Can I get a refund?”
These conversations about preparing for a comfortable death remind me of a dark but funny comedy from 1965 (The Loved One) in which Robert Morse played a young kid who inherited his uncle’s funeral business in Hollywood. In one scene where he was being shown the ropes of the business, including a range of expensive caskets, he asked the floor salesman the difference between two different models. “One has a polyester lining and the better one has a silk lining” was the reply. “What’s the difference” the newbie asked. “Silk doesn’t chafe”, the salesman answered.
I think cemeteries are a total waste of real estate. Cremation for me and my husband, and truth be told, as far as I am concerned, you can tie bricks to my feet and dump me in the nearest large body of water. Let the fishies dine. Anyone that cares about me can show me while I am alive and party when I have gone off to the Great Beyond.
momofalex7 over 5 years ago
He didn’t get one for Honeybunch? They should be next to each other.
Baba27 over 5 years ago
That view must be to die for.
Alondra over 5 years ago
I thought you were supposed to be smarter than Norm. The view won’t matter, because you’ll be 6 feet under! You won’t see it!
pschearer Premium Member over 5 years ago
For years I have been getting snail-mail ads for rest homes, hearing aids, and other reminders of mortality, but the first postcard from a cemetery really startled me.
TwilightFaze over 5 years ago
Badum-TISH!
jagedlo over 5 years ago
splurging on a hole in the ground?
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member over 5 years ago
The irony is that once you’re gone it’s not your problem.
Clotty Peristalt over 5 years ago
Little did Ralph know he would die by washing overboard on a cruise he got nagged into by his wife and was buried at sea. His last words were “what about my plot? Can I get a refund?”
DaveQuinn over 5 years ago
And how is he going to enjoy the view from six feet under?
Diat60 over 5 years ago
I wonder what other ads came in the mail that he couldn’t resist? Sell his house? Get his brakes fixed? Order pizzas?
Plods with ...™ over 5 years ago
In the meantime, he’s got a great picnic spot.
hooglah over 5 years ago
Just tie a bone around his neck and let the dogs drag him off. He won’t mind a bit.
David Rickard Premium Member over 5 years ago
In the immortal words of Richards and Jagger: Let’s do some living after we die
stillfickled Premium Member over 5 years ago
like father, like son.
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member over 5 years ago
These conversations about preparing for a comfortable death remind me of a dark but funny comedy from 1965 (The Loved One) in which Robert Morse played a young kid who inherited his uncle’s funeral business in Hollywood. In one scene where he was being shown the ropes of the business, including a range of expensive caskets, he asked the floor salesman the difference between two different models. “One has a polyester lining and the better one has a silk lining” was the reply. “What’s the difference” the newbie asked. “Silk doesn’t chafe”, the salesman answered.
pchemcat over 5 years ago
I think cemeteries are a total waste of real estate. Cremation for me and my husband, and truth be told, as far as I am concerned, you can tie bricks to my feet and dump me in the nearest large body of water. Let the fishies dine. Anyone that cares about me can show me while I am alive and party when I have gone off to the Great Beyond.