Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 01, 2025

yeah but make that in metric

Unfortunately, Gene’s hat size and his IQ are the same.

TODAY’S LIMERICK.

There was a young fellow called Gene,

Who came up with a pretty good scheme.

He measured his head,

With an undersized thread,

And said, “l’m as smart as a bean!”

/// Gene is gathering skeletal data

in the hope he’ll be able to state a

strong connection between

bones and minds which are keen.

(He’s no alpha brain— barely a beta.)

/// He hypothesized long second toes

on a man with a prominent nose,

and thin legs slightly bowed

are some factors which showed

that I.Q. exponentially grows.

Gene was wrong. Hìs ÌQ can be measured in mm.

Good morning, Ballard Dears!

Is he trying to measure up?

The results revealed quite a bit about Gene’s genes.

So, are you measuring your head or the size of your nose, Gene?

Some geniuses are ahead of the times, Gene’s the reverse.

Gene wanted to measure his brain.

From skeletal knowledge he’d gain.

The size of his skull

revealed he was dull,

and honestly, not really sane!

He needn’t have bothered with all that. He can just take pride that intelligence is passed on through Genes.

That’s the problem with thinking, Gene.

The circumference of his skull/

Is a number that’s smaller than null:/

He regrets to report/

That the distance is short:/

He’s discovered that he’s rather dull.”

That ruler helped Gene get straight A’s in school.

The problem is clearly genetic/

The response from your fans is frenetic:/

The resulting statistic/

Is considered heuristic/

But no reason to wax splenetic .

Good morning Balladeers!

Megamind he isn’t.

If you’re measuring your bones to determine intelligence… you don’t have any.

Last people to connect skeletal measurements with intelligence were the nazis

Dear old dad would measure our nose and then the dog’s nose if we did something stupid to determine which was the smarter species. Usually he claimed they were the same length meaning we were a dumb as dog.

Oy. Phrenology raises its ugly little head again.

looks like he carries around a pen in his shirt pocket, so that’s gotta stand for somethin’!

Gene’s wife wants to borrow that ruler to take some of Gene’s other measurements.

gene’s proud to be a bonehead…

I always heard that people who have a wide forehead are smarter than those who don’t.

he is confusing that with “the size of the feet the size of the meat”

I doubt that he will measure up.

Looks like Gene dove into the shallow end of the gene pool head first…

“How smart is a bean?”, you inquire./

Its IQ is probably higher/

Than a gnat’s or a flea’s/

Or a Trump nominee’s:/

It’s foolish to work for a liar…